Trying to orgasm consistently

[Dagame99]

Hello, I am a 18m with a 18f, we have been sexually active for a year and six months, and I have made her orgasm before but only like 4ish times 2 being me rubbing her clit, 1 being oral and 1 being her rubbing my penis on her clit (kind counts ig) but 3 being all me orgasms, but We have just been so frustrated with it, and Idk if that could be the reason, but, she does get wet when we have sex, and sometimes it be more sentimental, last time I made were at her house and I was just going down on her and I was doing something different but it worked and got her off but the time after i almost got her off but it didn’t work and it’s been like that where I get her close but it doesn’t work except those examples I have where it did, so I’m just asking for help to see if it can help us progress or maybe even fix the issue

[Sam W]

Hi Dagame99,

So, this sounds a little bit like part of what's going on is that you two are still learning what activities result in orgasm for her. That means that continuing to experiment and communicate is going to go a long way towards her orgasming more. Is this something that's frustrating you both, or does it not seem to bother her all that much?

[Dagame99]

Sometimes is Frustrates her a little because she will tell me to do something that feels good and it doesn’t get her anywhere or it will get her close but it doesn’t happen but she isn’t frustrated as much as me about it, I will add when she is solo it is easy for her, but she can only it rubbing her clit through her underwear and we have tried that before together with me doing it but it didn’t work. I had mentioned to her if like she expects not to every time and she said she doesn’t expect to orgasm when we do it so idk if that could be playing into it mentally, but a lot of times we just feel stuck and don’t know what to do to make progress

[Carly]

Hey Dagame99 -- being frustrated can definitely play into it for some folks, it's a pretty common problem we see on the boards. If she doesn't have an orgasm, how does it make you both both feel about the experience overall? It might be helpful to change your perspective and reframe things a little bit - sure, orgasms feel great but perhaps they're not the goal of sex. Does that make sense? What are your thoughts?