Fingering/Penetration - I'm new to it

[LotusGlow]

Hi! So I've posted here before but here I am again.. so i started fingerings myself a few months ago and before that I never really felt the need for it as my vibrator worked great. It took me few tries to find the hole and put my finger. The first time it felt uncomfortable and the pain was very minimal. The 2nd time I was very wet as I had already orgasmed 2 times and my finger slid right in. I've been fingerings with only one finger - I started off with my pointer finger and then moved to my middle finger, which to me was progress - I orgasm with my vibrator and then slowly slide my finger in. The problem is it doesn't feel good. And sometimes it hurt the walls of vagina. Inserting is easy but there's pain when I push the walls inside. I've tried using 2 finger but it feels like they get stuck at the opening. The first time I tried 2 fingers there was a burning sensation at the opening and I pulled my fingers out. The second time I tried, it still felt tight at the opening but this time there was no pain (progress??) But it felt like if I pushed in something would tear and it would hurt so again I pulled my fingers out. Ever since then I've only been using one finger only when I'm wet enough. Inserting never hurts except when I have long nails but I usually put it in and pull out. Sometimes I've tried to curl towards me and that didn't feel like anything and when I tried move in and ourt it hurts a bit. Is this normal? Should I be worried? I'm also a virgin and have had no sexual interaction with guys.

[Sam W]

Hi LotusGlow,

Nothing you're describing sounds like immediate cause for concern; from your description, it seems like you have an easier time inserting fingers if you're very aroused or have just orgasmed. That makes a lot of sense, because arousal causes the vaginal canal to expand and provides more lubrication (if you're not using extra lube, that could also be why it's not comfortable to insert your fingers). Too, some people find that their genitals get super sensitive after the orgasm, which may be why you felt discomfort when you slid your fingers in that time.

It's also not that strange that you're not feeling much from inserting your fingers; the vaginal canal isn't super sensitive, especially when you get past the first third of it.

Since it sounds like using your fingers just isn't all that fun for you, what if for now you focused mainly on the kinds of masturbation that do feel good?

[LotusGlow]

Hi! So yeah when I started fingering myself it was too sort of "prepare myself" for sex. I felt that I should have atleast some penetration experience and should know what that feels like. Till now it has been pretty boring. Also sometimes if my nails have grown, they kinda scratch or feel some thin tissue like structure near the entrance of my vagina. It feels thin and moves and is flexible. Is that my hymen?

[Sofi]

So the "hymen" is the vaginal corona and it can vary in shape and thickness, it is located about 2cm into your vaginal canal so what you describe could be the vaginal corona but there's no need to worry because it won't "break" (that's a myth). You can read more about that here.

As for the method of masturbation, I'm with Sam here. Perhaps you can go back to using your vibrator the way it was working for you for now, because the more you worry it's going to hurt, the more likely it is that you'll experience discomfort. This is just due to you being perhaps a bit tense without even realizing it, since you expect it might hurt. It's pretty common for people to prefer clitoral stimulation to penetration, or prefer using a toy than their own hands. Keep in mind partnered sex will inevitably feel different than solo manual sex, so there's only so much "preparing" we can do. Your future partner will ideally be patient and you two will be able to communicate through that first experience to avoid any discomfort.