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Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 6:46 am
by Oynx
Hello, Oynx here.
I could really use some advice, last night some things happened and now I don't know what happened but everything went down hill and now I need help. If anyone could just reach out then maybe we can talk?
Heather if u r seeing this then could me and u talk on a chat if u have time like yesterday?
Or if anyone else can take the time just reach out please and we can talk more.

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 6:52 am
by Michaela
Hi Oynx,
I'm happy to talk with you. What's been going on?

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 7:03 am
by Oynx
Hello, Michaela
I don't know where to really begin.
I have been having trouble with my family.
My grades arn't the best and they are coming down hard on me. I don't know what you have read or heard about me but they arn't the best and I just don't know what to do. I just feel helpless and alone. I feel scared and I feel like me being trans or me being bi it is wrong.

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 7:31 am
by Michaela
I've kept up somewhat with your posts on the boards and I'm so sorry that your parents have continued to not treat you how you should be treated: with love and respect. I'm sure you have already heard this from others but I'll say it up front again, there is nothing wrong with you for being trans or bi. However, I can understand it must feel that way when those parts of your identity are under attack from people who should be caring for you.

There are a couple of places we could talk about from here. So, I'll post a couple of questions and you can respond to those that feel important or supportive for you to talk about at the moment. For your grades, is this the new thing that has spurred more conflict at home? How is the environment at school or in other activities you may be a part of this summer like for you? I'm sorry if you're having to repeat any of this information for me, but are there some people or places other than with your parents at home where you have felt more safe and supported?

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 8:42 am
by Oynx
I, guess kind of at my summer school.
I am no longer to really leave the house until after my marks go up to 80% or something

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 9:04 am
by Michaela
I'm glad to hear that you feel a little more comfortable at school. Do you feel up to talking a little bit more about the resources you may have at school? Are there some teachers, friends, or counselors that you can talk to?

As for the rules around not leaving the house. Does that include going to the library to study and afterschool activities, if there are any?

I'm asking these questions to see if we can find you a situation where you are more regularly in an environment where you have more in-person support. Does that sound like something that would be helpful for you?

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 9:11 am
by Oynx
Hi, Michaela
So the problem is I am in summer school at a school of witch is not my home.
I do not have access to any of that and have no friends at this school. I am isolated and alone. I am not allowed to leave to go the park or anything like that. I can't go anywhere. I might be able to call my friends though

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 9:49 am
by Michaela
This sounds like a really difficult situation you are having to navigate (and have been dealing with for a while) and I am sorry that you are in this position. It's good that you can still call some of your friends; I remember you mentioning some really supportive friends. If you want we can brainstorm some ways that you can continue to connect with them more virtually. Have you been able to talk with them about everything going on at home recently?

Although it is a school that is not your normal school, they may still have some of the resources like counselors or social workers. If you would like we could talk through some steps to identify people that may be able to help you connect with them.

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 10:22 am
by Oynx
Ok.
Yes I could continue talking with them and I have told most of them what is happening and it upset's them that I am put through that. But no the summer school does not have those resources. In september I will have acsess once again

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 11:23 am
by Michaela
Sometimes it can be upsetting to hear difficult things that a friend is going through and not seeing a way to help them. You could always check in with them and then also let them know how they can support you. For example, saying something like "I understand that this may be a lot and upsetting. Thank you for being here for me and let me know if it is ever too much. I think right now, I could use some support that looks like X or Y. Is that something that we could do?"

Support virtually from friends can look like a lot of different things. Some examples could be nightly text check-in's, a 30 minute phone call every other morning, sharing songs or other media that you may enjoy, playing a game online together, etc. Do any of those sound like they would be good for you? Or do you have other ideas?

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 11:37 am
by Oynx
They would be good.
But I am not allowed to use my phone or PS4. I am however able to call them I think.
They are also very supportive and I do tell them everything.
Thank you

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 1:09 pm
by Sofi
Ah, well a phone call is a great way to connect with them and feel less lonely. So I agree with Michaela that if you can call them every couple of days it would be great for you to have someone to chat with.

Re: Hello, I could use some advice.

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2022 5:47 am
by Oynx
Hello, Sofi
I think this is a good idea and I will definitely do it.