Just HOW effective is this/Guilty after sex

[kookykandy16]

My boyfriend and i had sex yesterday. We used a vaginal contraceptive gel (Options Conceptrol), a condom (no tears and put on correctly), and he didn't ejaculate because i got nervous after like 15 minutes. Should this protect me from a pregnancy?

Also last friday i had sex and he wore a condom but i took Next Choice One Dose the next morning because i felt like there was a risk. Would that delay my period because my period is due January 5th and im terrified that it will never arrive.. Its like i WANT to have sex with him but i always end up feeling extremely guilty and like for having sex I will get pregnant as punishment. How can i possibly change this horrible mindset that i have ?

[Heather]

Here is our page that shows you effectiveness rates of combining methods, including the estimated rate for the combination of spermicide and a condom: The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method.

Emergency contraceptives can often knock cycles out of whack, so some people find that when they use them, they do not get a period when expected, or periods feel or look a bit different than they usually do.

In terms of changing how you feel about this, the first step would be seeing if you can figure out WHY you feel like that. Why do you think you feel guilty about something you want and enjoy? And who, exactly, do you think would be punishing you (and how are they somehow controlling your reproductive system!?!)?

Pregnancy isn't a punishment. It's a biological process that happens because of very specific conditions. God (who if you believe in such a thing/person, must undoubtedly have more important things to do than to choose to monitor your sex life), people's parents, or "the fates" don't make pregnancy happen. Sperm cells meeting up with an available ovum and all the other biological conditions required is what makes pregnancy happen, and is the only way pregnancy can happen. Pregnancy isn't a miracle or a punishment, just like, salivating, breathing, or getting a cold is not either of those things.

It isn't something anyone else but your body and someone else's can make happen, and it does and doesn't occur for people regardless of how they feel about sex (and includes when someone hasn't even had consensual sex at all, but has been sexually assaulted, and I think we can agree that anyone "punishing" a sexual assault victim with anything would be one hell of a cruelty).