Scarleteen

i apologise for this may be a long topic

ok so, last week on vacation i successfully used tampons. this is a great step for me because one of my first topics here was my inability to get anything inside my vagina.

the tampons were small, the "beginner" size. i tried them in june and it was uncomfortable, it was not all the way in, but then i tried again right when on vacation and after the absolute first time when it hurt a little, they slid in with ease.

getting them out hurt me three times out of four, though.
the first time cos there wasn't enough blood.
the second time i hadn't put it all the way in (again) and i was at a dinner with my parents' friends, we were still at the hotel, and i went back to the hotel room toilet and it took me some time and lots of sharp pain to get it out. i cried so much also because of the emotional impact.
third time we had just got out of the sea and in a restaurant, my tampon overflowed, so i went to the bathroom and had to stuff my swimsuit with tp and taking out my tampon was agony again.
fourth time in the hotel room toilet and at the beginning it was bad, but then i relaxed and the pain was short before it got out smoothly.

i want to know, is this pain normal? and am i supposed to feel my tampon when it's full, or is it supposed to feel like nothing is there all the time (like it feels when you first put it in)

and another thing, since i was successfull with tampons, i tried my hand (no pun intended) at penetration, with my middle finger after i was wet from self pleasure. and this time i went deeper than most times, but! other than some weird textures, i also found there is a smaller hole inside, it can't be the cervix because i know it's a hole small like a pencil dot. it was a hole that my finger could go around, so i thought, can it be the hymen? from what i know the hymen is not located right at the front, it's a little centimetres deep, which is the most i could do, aka the "first part" of my finger.

thank you if you'll answer my questions, hope it's not too much.

Hi mcjupiter,

Taking out tampons can be unpleasant at times (especially if it ended up being kind of dry), but pain to the point of tears is a sign something else may be up that's causing that intense level of discomfort. Have you been able to get to a healthcare provider lately for an exam to see if they can help you determine what's going on?

As for what you felt with your finger, it's very possible it's part of the vaginal corona AKA the hymen, since you were able to move around it. If your vaginal corona isn't super worn away, then that itself could be causing some of the discomfort with the tampons.

thank you for the answer sam w.

now i don't mean to gaslight myself, but i think it's just the hymen plus the emotional impact. i was already feeling uncomfortable cos i felt the tampon and i had it in wrong, so i was sitting there in discomfort and pain and couldn't tell anyone except my mum. i had to go straight to my hotel room and i was attempting to get it out asap.

the third time i was already in general discomfort and anxiety due to its leak and that i had to wrap tp in my one pieced swimsuit, which is unpleasant. and the thought of being in the restaurant toilet and people may be waiting their turn while i was in a rush.

by the fourth proper use of a tampon, i could get it out with only a little pain at the beginning and then it slid out easily, something that helped was getting relaxed, and thinking that i had as much time as i wanted and it would get out.

also, if i stand correct, in my country if you're a "virgin" you can only do external ultrasound. which was the only thing i ever did, once, to check uterus and ovary.

yes. the smaller little hole was the corona, which i realised last night as i was able to pass it and go inside it, but still only with my fingertip (so it must not be very worn, and the tampon i used is very small and thin as my pinky). all the weird textures i felt was probably just other stuff. i didn't expect it to be so soft inside. i still have not been able to insert a full finger, as i think i'll get gradually more comfortable.
but hey! for someone whose first topic post here was about thinking i was unable to have penetration, this is a big step

You're welcome! And it sounds like you're making a lot of progress in terms of getting to know your body and what things make inserting objects into the vaginal canal easier. Too, you're right that how you were feeling at the times you tried to get the tampon out was probably playing a big role; when you're anxious or otherwise stressed, that causes your body to tense up, which can make getting things in or out of the vaginal canal much harder.