I'm Very Stressed About Going Back To School

[rocko]

School starts in 20 days for me and I feel so stressed about it. I'm waking up startled everyday remembering that the beginning of the school year is coming closer.

I have few clothes to wear, only two pairs of jeans, a pair of sweat pants, and two zip up hoodies. All of my shirts either have paint on them, oil stains, or holes in them because I wore them too much. Most of them are over 2 years old. I don't want to spend my junior year wearing the same things every day like last year. I don't want to continue feeling bad about what I'm wearing. Sustainable clothing is too expensive for me, and I visited multiple second-hand stores but found nothing I liked.

I feel bad about my face because I'm not the most conventionally attractive person in the world. If I wear my mask, people will question me and say I'm ugly, they've done it to other people in my school. And I don't want to wear my mask because it impairs my sense of smell. I have so much anxiety about my hygiene and I just want to smell good everyday, and the mask isn't helping.
And I feel stressed about going back without a mask because some very conventionally attractive guys find me attractive, and I don't want them to find me disgusting because then I'll feel even more horrible. This is like my biggest worry.

I'm also a borderline prediabetic, that's what my doctor said when they got my bloodwork back. And so I sweat extremely easily and I sweat a lot. I don't want to sweat through my clothes, and I don't want my face to look like a waterfall. It's like I need to carry a towel with me whenever I go for a walk/run. I'm very self conscious about this and feel very ashamed that I let my health get this bad during and after the pandemic.

I also don't have many friends. I really only have one close friend, and I have a few other acquaintances. Lunch has been shortened from 1 hour to half an hour so I don't have enough time to go home and eat lunch anymore. It takes 10-12 minutes for me to walk there. I have no one to sit at lunch with, so I don't know what to do.

I'm just so stressed and I have no idea of what to do. It feels like my life is falling apart again. Please help.

Since this is mainly a sex help place, I guess hygiene advice would be the most helpful. I don't want my vagina to smell, and I don't want to my underarms to smell. Please help, please.

[Carly]

Hey rocko -- there's a lot here that we can talk about, but I'm going to start with the advice you specifically asked for about hygiene. The first thing I want to mention here is that bodies naturally have odors and we all smell a little different. It's not possible to be completely free of any kind of smell, but there a few things you can do feel fresh and a little more reassured. Do you have the ability to shower or bathe regularly? Good ol' fashioned soap and water goes a long way, especially the areas you've expressed you're the most worried about. Stick deodorant, if you don't already use one, might be a good option to help take away some stress about your underarms. It's important to remember that, because of the vagina's self-cleansing abilities, there will always be a bit of a distinct smell that might vary based on your menstrual cycle or changes in pH. Making sure you clean your labia (the outer parts of the vagina) with soap when you're bathing and changing your underwear daily could be part of your habits. Nothing should be inserted into your vagina - it doesn't actually need products like douches or perfumes, in fact these might even cause infection. It's also important to consider that sometimes we tend to notice smells on ourselves a bit easier than others can. The media often exploits our insecurities to sell things to us, and worrying about the way we smell and making it seem like everyone can smell even the most subtle bodily odors is unfortunately one of those. How is this all sitting with you?

It sounds like going back to school is giving you a lot of stress. I can tell you're worrying about a lot. Is this pretty standard for you, or are you finding that this is developing more since you got your diagnosis?