Scarleteen

i figured out how to pleasure myself when i was about 11 but no one else seems to do it like me. am i doing it right?

it always works and i’ve tried other stuff but it doesn’t do it for me as well. i don’t get wet for some reason (never have but i still orgasm just fine) so normally i just sort of rub my clit over my pants / on top of my pants if that makes sense. i think it’s because of the friction of the fabric rubbing or something while also not hurting like when i try with my fingers on just skin.

the thing is i’m worried that when i do have sex eventually it’ll just be a bit weird to explain to my partner. and maybe they won’t know how to do it or they’ll think i’m weird for it. is there anything else i should try to find another method of getting off? or is this just like… a normal way to do it that nobody talks about and i’m overthinking it?

i’m a lesbian and also i hate any kids of penetration (literally can’t even put a tampon in without almost throwing up lol) if that helps

Hi junescats123,

That is a perfectly good way to masturbate since it is something that you find pleasurable and it is comfortable for you. There are so many ways to masturbate and it all comes down to individual preference of what feels good to you. My hope is that any future partner you have would understand that too and would welcome a conversation about how to make you feel good.

Communication with a partner can feel a little awkward at first, especially without some practice around it. But, it is also one of the most important things in partnered sex to make the experience enjoyable for all parties. Although you mentioned that you do not yet have a partner I want to pass along this resource that you may find to be a helpful guide to establishing good communication from the start of any relationship with someone. You may also find that having an idea of how you would want to have that conversation with someone may help to lessen some of those anxieties you talked about.

• Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking about Sex with a Partner

However, if experimenting with other types of masturbation is something that you are interested in, go for it! But, do it because you are curious about it and not because you feel a need to masturbate in a different way for a partner. This article (Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation) goes into some different ways to experiment with masturbation. Some things to think about could be different types of physical stimulation, also visual stimulation like media, or tapping into your own imaginative fantasy. Additionally, something that you may want to look into is lube because it can make physical stimulation more enjoyable by decreasing some of the friction that may happen using your fingers directly on your genitals (here's more info if you're curious).

I put a lot of different information in this response, are you feeling more at ease around your masturbation habits or are there still some questions you have after reading through those resources?

nope, to be honest i think that answers pretty much everything. thank you so much for your help!