Scarleteen

If it hurts? Press pause.

Manual sex really shouldn't hurt -- nor should it just be something one gets used to: sex should feel GOOD -- and if it did hurt a lot, it was likely because y'all weren't using lubricant if there was insertion of fingers into the vagina, because you weren't aroused enough before and/or during, because your partner and you weren't doing anything BUT insertion of fingers into the vagina, because it was too deep, too hard, too fast, or just plain not what felt good to you. In other words, loads of reasons, but most taken care of pretty easily with active, clear communication and recognition of your needs.

2.) When a partner is too rough. If a partner is too rough or forceful with their penis, fingers or a sex toy, whether a person is aroused or not, that can cause injury and bleeding.
4.) If the corona or hymen is still in the process of wearing away or has worn away very little, and that intercourse or entry tears (in which case this is bleeding usually actually due to #2), stretches or erodes it. This is the reason people tend to most commonly think is why vaginal bleeding with intercourse happens: some people even think it's the only reason. Age can be a big factor when this is the cause. Because this tissue wears away over time, the younger a woman or girl is when she has intercourse the more likely it is that there's more of the corona to wear away, and the more likely it is there will be some bleeding. Consider that in our modern day, for as much as you hear adults talking about how young people having sex in their teens and twenties are, many women in history, and in some places still, had first intercourse (and marriage) at even younger ages than now. So, when it comes to specifically hymenal bleeding, it's something we likely see less of now than we did 500 or more years ago.

As well, arousal and lubrication is an issue with this one, too. The corona is usually very stretchy and flexible, so even someone who has one that's not yet eroded enough to be totally out of the way can have pleasurable sex without bleeding from that tissue when they are aroused and lubricated enough, be that lubrication from their own bodies or from a bottle. In that case, the corona often just slides to the side of the vaginal opening a lot like the inner labia stay to the side during intercourse.