Scarleteen

Hey all, I would like to preface this by saying I do not believe I have any sort of addiction to masturbation, I can go for a couple weeks without and feel fine. However whenever I masturbate afterwards I feel bad, kinda negative, why is this? Should I stop masturbating all together? Thanks a lot also could this possibly have something to do with how I don’t really believe the girl I like does this either? How I might be more weird fro doing this?

Hi there.

It's very culturally common, especially in the colonized Western World, for people to feel bad, guilty, or ashamed about masturbation. Unfortunately, many of us come from a long line of families and communities that have both felt that same way and also made sure the next generations kept feeling that way. Cultural shame around masturbation has long been used as a social control religiously and via other institutions. It's almost like these bad feelings are in the water, you know?

It can often help, when trying to work through these kinds of feelings, to start by thinking or talking about the attitudes or ideas about masturbation you have grown up with. Were you taught it was okay, or even good? Were you taught or shown it was bad or shameful? Were you taught nothing at all -- do you feel like no one has ever even talked about or acknowledged it in your life? How about the ideas about sexuality you have grown up with or around? About your sexual body?