Scarleteen

I (19F) have been feeling confused lately. It was pretty late when I had my first orgasm at age 18, after trying clitoral massaging for the first time. Before that, my OCD was ruining my mind and i had to penetrate myself whenever I showered. It was a compulsion and i felt terrible each time. I would even cry afterwards. At aged 18 though, I orgasmed for the first time when i tried clitoral massage , and it felt amazing. My whole body felt like it was floating and I was so happy. Ever since that day, Ive continued clit massages and dropped fingering myself completely. My ocd does not affect me anymore either, but there is a problem now. I dont feel pleasure when I orgasm anymore. Its not like before, because before I wasnt able to orgasm. But now, my orgasms dont feel pleasurable anymore, I just masturbate out of habit at this point. How can I feel the same way when I first reached orgasm? I have to note that there I dont have much privacy because the walls are thin, and so i have to do everything very quietly. I cant even moan.
I wrote a lot, but if someone could help me I would be really glad. Thank you

Hi aysepasey,

There are a few different things that could be going on here. One is that, now that the sensation of orgasm isn't a new thing for you, it feels less intense than it did during those earlier instances of you experiencing it.

Something else that may be going on is that, if you're doing this mainly out of habit, your brain and body aren't super aroused by or engaged in what's going on. Our brains are actually our biggest sexual organs, so if they're not actively engaged in what's happening, things like sex or masturbation are likely to be underwhelming. When you've tried masturbating lately, are you using fantasies or sexual media that really arouse you? Too, what if you tried only masturbating when you felt turned on instead of as a habit?