Since I've started HRT, i struggle to orgasm, and current methods aren't working

[InfinitelyCute]

Hi, I'm a trans girl here, I've started estrogen about a month ago, and i've started t-blockers 6 months ago.

I am quite insecure about having orgasms. I havent had bottom surgery, and even though i dont get much bottom dysphoria from looking at my parts, I struggle to orgasm and it has made me feel guilty. Even though I pleasure my boyfriend and he pleasures me, i can't orgasm - for my sake and for his, i really want advice about how to go about doing it. I want him to see how good he makes me feel, and i want to feel it more myself. Stroking doesn't do much anymore, and it makes me feel too masculine for my own comfort - i can orgasm that way but i feel like i violated myself after doing so. I look, feel and act very feminine - everyone around me tells me my baritone voice is literally my only giveaway - i want this to apply to sex as well. If possible, could I get some advice on new ways of pleasuring myself or being pleasured so that I can orgasm in a less strong and dominant way? I see a lot of people recommending vibrators, but i don't know how to use one, nor how to get one in a discreet way. My parents are completely supportive of my identity, hell my dad says i'm prettier and happier as a girl! but I still have dignity and shame so i dont want them knowing i got one haha

I plan on meeting up with my boyfriend this december, and cuz both of us really want to do stuff together, i want it to be the best experience for the both of us as possible!

[Sam W]

Hi InfinitelyCute,

I'm glad so many people in your life are supportive overall! But you're right, even when you have supportive and loving parents, you still have things you want to keep private, and that's okay.

If you're curious about vibrators, one option is to D.I.Y one from things you either have at home or can get fairly easily. This article goes into detail about how to do that safely: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition.

Another option would be to explore ways of stimulating your genitals that don't rely on stroking, since that sounds like that's the main source of discomfort for you. Some folks, including some trans women, find that rubbing against something like a pillow or even a part of a partners body is a way of experiencing sexual pleasure without setting off much, or any, dysphoria. Does that seem like something you could try?