Scarleteen

okay so, i am on the asexual/aro spectrum and define myself as grey-acearo. the definition of grey-asexual is someone who experiences limited sexual attraction, or only in certain circumstances. (same with romantic). i have chosen to use that term since it resonates with what i feel somehow.

so, as i've mentioned in another topic, i've never gotten a sexual or romantic "crush" for a person my age IRL, they were always QP/alterous feelings, and they have been for different genders, and this is why i use the label "bi" other than my aspec labels.
while the subjects of my sexual and romantic feelings are fictional characters, famous people and the closest i've ever gotten to an allo crush: adults in my life.
there have been many throughout my life, but i'll tell about the most recent one that started to make me wonder if there's something actually wrong with me.

last week i was out of town with my parents for their work, and i saw one of their work friends, who is a very good-looking man with a radiant personality. i've always found him quite handsome, but that day i fell hard for him. i like to look at his social media posts, and i have found myself fantasizing about being close to him romantically and sexually. of course, i do not want these things to happen in real life, but i'd like to talk to him, or at least be in his presence, and i think of when will be the next opportunity to see him.

people say it's normal to get crushes on people older than ourselves, especially in your teens, but this has been my norm for years now, fancying my parents' coworkers or my teachers or whatever; i've never felt this way about a person my age who is in my real day-to-day life.
when people say it's normal i'm afraid they mean a sporadic little crush, but mine are big and genuine; like, when i hear my classmates talk about their flings with boys a few years older, i hold myself back from talking about how i feel the same about middle-aged men (i think they'd find it to be weird).
now i'm starting to get concerned about myself. is there a problem with me?

i think this is all i had to say.

also, i don't like it when people say liking older men is cos of "daddy issues". i love my dad so much, he is a great person and i think that he is the person who treated me the best and loved me the most in all my life. we have a great relationship. with my mum though, not so much.

i've noticed the men i like (be they fictional, famous, or in my life, but mostly the latter) have similar personalities to my dad, so could it be that i'm seeking another good parental figure like him? could it be that sigmund freud is looking down on me, rubbing his hands together and saying "excellent..." like mr. burns? (xD)

i dunno.

It definitely isn't unusual for people your age to get crushes on adults! I don't think there's anything weird or wrong about it at all. It does seem to be a sort of crush that some people are more inclined to than others, but I think that's often more about personal preferences or being drawn to maturity than "daddy issues" (which I agree is an annoying thing to bring up when someone mentions being attracted to older men).

It's important to make the distinction between having those feelings and actually acting on them, but you seem very clear on the difference between those fantasies and what you'd like to actually experience with this person. I don't see any problem with this at all.