Scarleteen

before we start talking: this is no recent thing. it happened in may.

last year me and this friend (i'll refer to her as R) were going good, but by the start of this year our friendship was already falling out, i was the one who talked a lot about myself while she didn't talk much about herself. we stopped talking after a while, i was all wrapped up in my own thoughts, thinking she must have ditched me in favour of people in her school.
so in may i texted her "hey, it's been a while, hru". she answered with a copypasta of a "funny" tiktok song that was going at that moment, and then blocked me on whatsapp. i thought she musn't have recognised my number as i had changed it some time before, so i went to look for her insta and tell her it was me. but she had blocked me on all my accounts.
recently after this, my mum was accompanying my brother to school (or from, i don't remember). they crossed streets with R and she noticed them, looked down and walked faster.
while i was not in my country, a mutual online friend told me that R doesn't hate me but supposedly this was all cos her parents found out i smoked (it was basically once in my whole life and i didn't even like it) and they thought i was a "bad influence".
but when i came back, my mum said that the school thing happened again except she straight up crossed the road to avoid them. and my mum never saw R again.

an additional fact: when we were still friends (i can't tell you the exact time, i deleted chats) but she had made new accounts and blocked me from them, when i sent her screens as proof she lied about "technical problems" and unblocked me.
after we "broke up" i noticed that she lied to me quite a few times, even when we were children: first, she'd tell me she had a pet penguin (obvious lie) then she'd tell me she was half english, then half belgian, and she denied this all some years later. and now i don't know if some things she'd tell me are real or not.

i'm still blue about this because we've been friends ever since we were 7/8. i should be over it by know, but i don't know the truth. it hurts as if it was a romantic breakup.

Hi Lyle Lanley, thank you for reaching out to us. I am really sorry that your friendship has fallen apart due to these circumstances. I know what it's like to lose a life-long friend, especially after realizing that they have been lying about almost everything that went on in their life. I do want to mention that children tend to lie about small things, as they really don't know any better. Regardless, I can see how it has impacted you, since she has basically diminished the trust that you once had in her.

A friend "break-up" really does feel like a romantic break-up, and you are definitely not alone in this. You mentioned how your friend would go back-and-forth with blocking you on social media and ultimately your phone number, which really does not seem like what a good friend would do. I know she might consider you a "bad influence" due to experimenting with smoking, but maybe this might just be another excuse to block you like the "technical issues" she mentioned before?

Overall, you deserve to have people in your life who genuinely care about you and want you around. Solid friendships should not consist of chasing after each other for answers. I know you want the truth, but do you think she will actually give you the truth?

Please take care and let me know if you need anything else.

hi nicole. thanks for this answer.

i'm very sad about it too. she had been my friend for all my life, at least seemed to care for me and enjoy my company, until she didn't. she was a huge liar, double faced, concieted and vain.
at a point i had gained a bad habit of spying on her social media from incognito mode or a burner account i never used. i kept seeing her be so cool live her life full of friends, while she had thrown left me there on the floor like it was nothing. and the people she has with her have no idea what she did. she doesn't give a shit and she doesn't see me as a person, she saw me as old trash in her room to throw away so she can start anew.

and i admit she saw all of me, while i saw nothing of her. i talked a lot about myself, while she was a sponge, she soaked up and then brought me back the same substance of what i said when i "squeezed" her.
i told her some shit she could potentially blackmail me with, as she had tricked me into trusting her and then backstabbed me. but it's not all her fault. she was also the only person i came to with my problems, i always trusted her to bring me back up. i thought she cared.

yes. the smoking thing was definitely an excuse. i know it. i noticed how shady she had been all the time after she broke up with me at once. she'll never come back, and that's fine. she knows how to avoid me for the most part (we do live in the same town in the same neighbourhood. and she's in the process move even closer to my house, i've been told. but this is coincidental).

while i was lurking, i noticed she had made a website about herself. a carrd.co, i don't know if the people at scarleteam know what it is but just in case, it's a site where people say a bit about themselves for social media. in her DNI (don't interact if...) list, she had "if you are mutual/friends with (my usernames on instagram and tiktok that were up to date by the time i saw them)".
she clearly wants nothing to do with me.

she fucked up my life and then left it. it was probably for the best.
even though she became a "cool" person and i could've had a cool friend, it's just on the surface. people who she hangs out with now, have no idea how much pain she caused to me

Hey Lyle -- I'm so sorry, I've also experienced a friend break up in my life and I know how confusing and painful it can be. I don't think there's any real timeline for being "over" what happened; you're allowed to take as much time as you need to process this. It sounds like you're coming to terms with the fact that R was not a good friend - do you feel like you're getting some closure? Unfortunately, because R seems to want no contact with you, I don't think you're going to get it from her. What can you do or what have you done? Or perhaps you may not need it? What do you think?