Fingering how-to?

[Hel]

So I have been masturbating for several years now but I’ve only done clitoral stimulation and never used a sex toy (unless my pillow counts).

I would really like to try to go inside my vagina but every time I try I’m either too dry, too tight, or I almost pass out. (I have a condition called Vasovagal syncope which causes me to feel faint/pass out/feel weird/get anxiety/feel highly uncomfortable at random triggers. E.g. vaccines, tweezers, tampons, and -sadly- fingering. This makes it really hard to try to finger myself.)

So yeah don’t know what to do about that. I had my ex boyfriend (now friend) finger me three times. First time: clothes on, I wasn’t horny enough so I didn’t feel anything. Second time: I was cold but he quickly warmed me up and put a finger inside me several times (his nails were a bit long though but aside from that it felt pretty good). Third time: absolute disaster, I used him as a stress relief for my own problems, and ended up crying afterwards out of guilt (and the fingering hurt too because I didn’t communicate me needs to him).

I am getting bored of clitoral stuff and I don’t own a vibrator. I’ve watched porn/read articles on women fingering themselves but I can’t figure it out and I’m embarrassed. And how do you squirt?? I’ve tried but no luck.

Now that I’m single I’m even more horny and emotional and I just want to finger myself but I don’t know how. Please help/advise.

Thanks!

[Heather]

Hey there, Hel.

The thing is, there's no one "how to" for any of this that's universal, especially once you've got things like specific health conditions like this involved. And in your case, it literally sounds like your condition may make it so that, so far, this particular activity is going to make you pass out. So, for starters, what are you doing when it comes to managing the vasovagal syncope? My understanding is that beyond the advice to simply avoid triggers, there are some medications suggested for it: have you tried any of those? If not, if this is something you want to try and do, talking to a healthcare provider about medication seems like it might be your best next step.

Honestly, what feels good inside the vaginal canal is ALSO largely about the clitoris, too -- the internal portions of the clitoris. The vaginal canal itself isn't actually rich with many sensory nerve endings past the first 1/3rd of it or so: what we feel in there past that is about the internal clitoris and its anatomy. So, really, when it comes down to it, it's all "clitoral stuff." Too, if you're feeling bored, this isn't likely to feel all that, either: generally, for this to feel exciting, you have to already be pretty turned on before you do anything vaginal. We can talk more about this if you want.

Squirting, too, is something that can happen for some (but not all) people, but on the whole, it usually isn't something that actually feels like all that much in and of itself. For the lowdown on that, you can read up here (I'd just wind up rewriting the same thing I wrote before here): https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... jaculation

[Hel]

Thanks, I'll try to figure out what works best for my condition. When I finger myself, there seems to be an issue, but the one successful time my friend (ex, now best friend) fingered me I didn't feel weird. I was turned on that time.

I do have trouble figuring out what works best for me, in terms of getting turned on. I'm always so overwhelmed about one thing or the other: gender, school, hobbies, etc. I get turned on when I'm lying in bed fantasizing about a dream boyfriend (or girlfriend or person) but I don't know, it's not all the time. Sometimes I'm not turned on when I want to be. Like, in class once I got really horny and my vagina started heating up from rubbing on the chair I was sitting on, but then when I was giving head to my friend I wasn't turned on until he started tilting my head up and rubbing his d*ck on my breasts. Any advice on how to figure out what my turn-ons are?

I guess I'm still young and I need to figure out what works for me and stuff but I don't really know how to experiment with that kind of stuff. Especially now that I'm single. Like, I'm taking a lot of time for myself and I don't necessarily want a serious relationship, but it would be nice to have someone I could f*ck around with. Is that selfish?

[Kayleighdavey09]

Hi I'm 14 my boyfriend (15) has a small hard lump on the side of his penis and it hurts him even if he ain't touching it he wants to get it checked as he has a rare condition that can cause cancer on his skin (gorlins) is this needed for him?

[Nicole]

Hi Kayleighdavey09,

Before getting into your post, I do want to let you know that you did respond to someone else's thread. While this isn't necessarily a problem, I do want to emphasize that this might be better for you and other users to create a separate thread with your question. I can definitely give you some insight though!

Since we are not medical professionals, there are limits to how we can advise you to go about possible medical issues. Since this lump is hard, painful, and could come as a result of his rare condition, then I would definitely see a medical professional. It is better to be safe and avoid any possible future harm! Please let him know. Take care!