Scarleteen is closed for the next two days, so that's Thursday, October 31st (for Halloween) and Friday, November 1st (for Diwali). We'll be back and able to answer your questions on Saturday. Catch you soon!
I don't know how to talk about it
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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- not a newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
- Age: 25
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him
- Sexual identity: dunno
- Location: uk
I don't know how to talk about it
i'm really not sure how to talk about it
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- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 352
- Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2022 11:18 am
- Age: 22
- Primary language: EN, ES, RU, UA
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: USA
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
Hi Marvel1999, welcome to the boards. I want to let you know that we are here to listen and provide resources whenever you are ready to share your experiences. I don't want to get into asking any questions about your situation as I don't want to overstep any boundaries or sensitivities that you might have. I do want to ask, are you unsure of how to talk about abuse or assault to us? Family? Friends? A medical professional? Authorities? If you need any guidance on specific terminology, emotions, or circumstances that might help you explain your situation to us or anyone else, I will link an article here that could help you out: Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault. Please let me know if this helps, we are here for you!
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- not a newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
- Age: 25
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him
- Sexual identity: dunno
- Location: uk
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
I don't know how to talk to anyone about it, I get scared. I have autism and I have verbal communication deficits because of that, I can speak but I have a very hard time doing so I am also an AAC user, it can be super hard to communicate all and it's even harder when its about abuse
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- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 352
- Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2022 11:18 am
- Age: 22
- Primary language: EN, ES, RU, UA
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: USA
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I reached out to our other staff members as they might have more experience with your situation. I understand what it is like to be neurodivergent and having difficulties speaking up, but I am not an AAC user. This situation seems incredibly frustrating. With that being said, I am going to try my best to find a staff member that can work on this with you.
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- not a newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
- Age: 25
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him
- Sexual identity: dunno
- Location: uk
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
thank you
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- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9687
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
Hey there, Marvel.
The good news about this place is that you get to take as long as you want in conversations here, and also write in whatever size chunks work best for you, without any need for verbal communication at all. We aren't in any hurry, and can even stretch conversations here over weeks or months (and sometimes have for years with some users!). We'll do our best to have this conversation in whatever way works best for you. So, how about you start here with us in the boards?
If that sounds good to you, is there something you'd like to start with?
The good news about this place is that you get to take as long as you want in conversations here, and also write in whatever size chunks work best for you, without any need for verbal communication at all. We aren't in any hurry, and can even stretch conversations here over weeks or months (and sometimes have for years with some users!). We'll do our best to have this conversation in whatever way works best for you. So, how about you start here with us in the boards?
If that sounds good to you, is there something you'd like to start with?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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- not a newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
- Age: 25
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him
- Sexual identity: dunno
- Location: uk
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
are you sure people will believe me? a lot of people don't take me seriously when I try to communicate, I get treated like a child a lot, and people treat me like I'm stupid because I don't always communicate in the same ways as they do
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- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9687
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
We are very much a survivor-first organization and service. We're founded and led by an abuse survivor (that's me), if that helps to know, too. We are also founded and led by someone with disabilities, and what abilities someone does or doesn't have, and how a person communicates aren't things that influence if we take someone seriously or treat them with respect.
If there's anything else you need in order to feel safe talking with us, I'm happy to work that out with you first.
If there's anything else you need in order to feel safe talking with us, I'm happy to work that out with you first.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
- Age: 25
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him
- Sexual identity: dunno
- Location: uk
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
I really want to talk about it, just scary
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- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9687
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
I understand. Maybe you can try just writing a little of what you want to talk about in a post draft first. If you decide you don't feel safe enough here, or yet, you are under no obligation to hit post. <3
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
- Age: 25
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him
- Sexual identity: dunno
- Location: uk
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
i can do that, will the chat be open today?
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- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9687
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: I don't know how to talk about it
It will, at 2 PST.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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