Coping with what happened

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
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This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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Marvel1999
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Location: uk

Coping with what happened

Unread post by Marvel1999 »

I drink to cope with what happened, I'm not really sure what to say about it
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Sam W
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Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Coping with what happened

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Marvel1999,

I want to start by echoing what Emily said in chat (we can see the history on our end because that helps us provide better support, and I wanted to make sure I was caught up on what you needed), that relying on substances to cope with things like trauma isn't ideal, especially because they're not addressing the root causes. But, I also don't want you to feel ashamed or bad for doing what you've had to to cope with what sounds like an incredibly frightening, painful situation. If you'd like, we can certainly talk about some other ways of coping you could try so that you have more tools to use when you need to.

You can correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like this is either an ongoing or very recent assault. If that's the case, I think it might be best to talk about ways you might be able to protect yourself from this person (something that shouldn't have to be your job, but because this is an unfair situation, it's a step you might have to take) and/or find some local groups or resources that could act as advocates for you, since you've mentioned people keep not believing you. How do those ideas sound?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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