Why don't I feel pleasure when I touch myself?

[unr3alun3arth]

So I am a cis girl and I started masturbating at around age 10. It first happened when I started rubbing my clitoris against my mattress. It felt good so that's how I've been doing it up until now (I'm 17 currently). But, I've wanted to try different things for a few months now so I tried putting my fingers up there. It didn't feel good, it didn't feel bad, I just didn't feel pleasure which doesn't bother me because I know that's normal, penetration doesn't work for everyone. So then another time, I tried rubbing my clitoris with my fingers, and still, I didn't feel pleasure.

The only way I've been able to feel pleasure and/or orgasm is by doing what I always do, rubbing my clitoris against my mattress. Every time I try anything else, I don't feel sh*t. And it is starting to worry me a bit because I recently had a (first) sexual experience with my girlfriend and even then when she touched me, I didn't feel pleasure. It did feel a bit better than when I touch myself, but still pretty much nothing.
I want to be able to do it in different ways and to feel pleasure with my girlfriend but I just can't and it frustrates me so much.

I don't know what is wrong with me, please help.

[Nicole]

Hi fadingoldports,

Welcome to the boards! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Everyone masturbates differently and has a particular form of masturbation that works well for them, which is okay! You know what works best for you and that's great!

I want to start by telling you what I tell almost everyone who is in your situation--it is essential to explore your sexual anatomy, see what feels good, and go with the flow. You've attempted this with fingering and it didn't work out--that's okay! Don't give up, there are so many other forms of masturbation to try out. Often, many people benefit from fantasizing and/or using sex toys. It's actually really common for those who like clitoral stimulation to use sex toys like vibrators. Plus, the vagina beyond the first few inches barely has any nerve endings, unlike the vaginal opening which has almost 90% of the nerve endings. I can drop some resources for you to check out if you want to learn more. These articles have a lot of information that might help you move forward! Please let me know if they resonate with you in any way.

• Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation

• Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

• Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More

Also, since this was only your first experience with your girlfriend, you both might not have a clear understanding of what is pleasurable for each other. It is super important to communicate what works and what doesn't. Having that direct line of communication while safely exploring each other can help in figuring out how to have a pleasurable sexual experience. If you'd like more information on this, I'm happy to provide that to you! With that, from what you've described, it seems like you like clitoral stimulation, have you communicated this to your partner? As I mentioned earlier, it is common for those who like clitoral stimulation to enjoy sex toys like vibrators, have you spoken about or attempted incorporating that into sex?

Here is an article from us that is similar to your situation that I think you might benefit from reading: I didn't feel a thing with fingering: is there something wrong with me?

Please let me know what you think!