Masturbation: No Sparks?!

[CherryBomb]

Hey there! So, I've got a pretty hefty problem at the moment. I've been masturbating since I was around 11 y/o, and am currently 15, and have never actually really been able to feel pleasure. I'm currently a virgin, but I've used my fingers, as well as objects (No toys, mind you. But nothing humongous or anything, just household items you'd use). I always imagine different scenarios with different people and such, and have a vivid imagination for these types of things. I've used penetration with three fingers and less, used stimulation on clitoris, and of course have used objects for penetration as well, but nothing has ever really happened. I've always thought 'Oh, since this is what's happening it's supposed to feel like this,' but I've talked to other friends who have masturbated and they at least feel pleasure sometimes? I always try to persuade myself in my mind that it's supposed to feel good, but really it's always meh. Today, I really thought today would be the day. I'm on my period, hormones raging about and such, and was lubricated enough to begin with before I stepped in the shower, but nothing happened. I tried everything (hands only) and different positions and such, but nothing happened. It actually kind of hurt when I curled my fingers inward (not due to tightness, just the spot I was hitting) no matter where I moved my fingers. I also prepared my body normally and such before hand, but it's just so frustrating that no sparks or stars are flying at all. I've got all this pent up energy and can't do anything about it! Aarrrggghhh! Send help please!

[Nicole]

Hi CherryBomb,

I'm so sorry that this has been so frustrating! It seems like you've tried out different forms of masturbation and utilized fantasy/imagination...all good steps! Also, I want to assure you that this is a common concern we get, so you're not alone. Even recently, one of our staff members (Sam W) was just responding to another user on a very similar issue. Sam mentioned that "it's not that strange that you don't feel much when inserting things into the vaginal canal. The vagina itself, especially past the first 1/3rd of it, has hardly any sensory nerve endings at all. The sensations people feel inside the vagina are often more about the external and internal clitoris, than the vagina itself." Just wanted to share that with you!

I want to start by mentioning that going into masturbation with the goal of orgasming or experiencing intense pleasure may not be the way to go. It gives you high expectations and may overwhelm you. I always recommend exploring what feels good and going with the flow, so please don't give up if a form of masturbation doesn't end up working out for you!

I want to recommend this article as I know it has helped many users who were in similar situations: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation. Sometimes people might not have an understanding of their sexual anatomy so they can better explore what feels good, we have a resource for that as well: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body. Please take a look at these articles and let me know if anything resonates with you so we can see how to move forward with this!