Scarleteen

Hi, it's me again. I've been reading on this site a lot lately, and sometimes I feel glad I know more stuff than many of people you get questions from (not as a superiority thing, just glad I'm informed), but other times there are things I think I've learned, that I then question if they're really true. Most of this question is just out of a desire to know about my body (as I'm assigned female at birth) rather than a need to know, since finger penetration doesn't work for me in masturbation and the only people I'm currently interested in having sex with are online relationships who live in other countries. (One is my boyfriend of almost two years now; the other I have a more "friends with benefits" situation with that's not fully committed yet, we're trying to get to know each other better first. And yes, they both know about my relationship with the other and are okay with it.) Oh yeah - and I don't have an ID yet, so I can't go to an adult toy store to get penetrative toys yet, either. Hopefully in the near future, though. I really like the idea of penis-in-vagina sex, and really want to find a way to make it pleasurable if needed.

I guess the most basic question would be: what is the g-spot, exactly? Is its own organ like the clitoris is (I think)? Is a muscle? I've heard all different sorts of descriptions in it, mainly in erotica, but many of them conflict with each other. I'm pretty sure I've heard from a reliable source that the g-spot is the main source of physical pleasure in penetrative (vaginal or anal) sex for the person being penetrated, as the penetrating thing stretches those muscles and stimulates the g-spot. At least, that's my current image of it; specifically the vaginal walls being stretched also stimulates the g-spot. I did recently learn that there are p in v positions that stimulate the clitoris, which is interesting to me, because I've only experienced feeling pleasure with the exterior part of the clitoris. I know that the clitoris is bigger than that, but I don't have a very good image of what it is. I feel like I looked at a chart or something on here once, but I don't remember it very well.

More questions: Is the g-spot something every vulva owner has? If not, how rare is it to not have one? Is it even something physically measurable? (I know virginity is a social concept and not something physical, at least.) Can it look different for different vulva owners? I've heard that some vulva owners don't like things touching their g-spot, is that something physical with their body or a sensory preference, or could it be both/either?

Also, a somewhat unrelated question that's been burning in my mind for a while: is female ejaculation (squirting) a real thing that can happen? I think it's really hot in animated porn and the like (I don't like watching recorded porn or looking at sexual pictures taken with a camera) but I had assumed it was like, a fantasy thing, but I heard once that it's actually possible. I'm not talking about losing control of one's bladder, for the record... that's a different thing. (Still pretty hot in porn though.) I've assumed it would be with the vagina's natural lubricant, but I'm really curious about what it's actually made of and what causes it if it's something that actually happens.

Who doesn't love a Christmas Eve g-spot question!

There's a way to answer this that goes a whole book's length (and if you want a whole book on the vulvavaginal anatomy, I strongly suggest Pussypedia), and some ways that are a lot shorter. I'm going to go for the latter.

One big thing to know, that I think always makes all of this make more sense, is that trying to segment this anatomy into distinctly separate parts is both difficult and also kind of inaccurate. Yes, there is an area of this anatomy named the Grafenburg or G-spot, but it's not a spot, so much as an area, and it also isn't really something we can separate from the vagina OR the internal clitoris, which we can't really separate from some of the urethral anatomy, either.

This area does generally exist for folks with this anatomy (we can never say everyone accurately with any anatomy or body part, because there's still just too much divergence with this stuff: sometimes unusual things just happen with bodies). There's been a lot of back and forth argument in sexology and anatomy over the years, but more of that was based in sexism and the skewed way a lot of people think about sexuality than real anatomical confusion. But in the last couple years, it has looked much more like a consensus on this.

It's simply an area of tissue that is part of/connected to both the internal clitoris and vagina that also tends to be richer with nerve endings than much of the rest of the vagina once you get past the vaginal opening. It's towards the back, not the belly, and tends to feel, to the touch, a little more textured, rather than smoother, than the rest of the vagina.

Now, what this feels like for everyone with stimulation is a lot like how any body part feels to everyone, which is that it's varied, both person to person but also experience to experience. There's no one way it feels to everyone like there's no one way stimulus of the clitoral glans does, you know?

For some more on this anatomy and, related, some answers to the ejaculation question, this older piece that's been updated in 2021 does (IMHO) a pretty good job: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... jaculation