I'm uncomfortable with sex but I still want it

[Toad]

I've never dated anyone and my sex history is very brief. It's mainly because I get very uncomfortable once I get into sexual stuff. I'm pan so I've tried experimenting with different kinds of people but I always got really uncomfortable, even when I felt really into it at the start. It starts ok but after a few seconds of kissing, I feel the need to run away and cry. I get sick when hearing all the wet sounds and can't stand when people are touching or grabbing my butt.
I identify as a demisexual but still feel really troubled by this. I really liked some of the people but it was always the same (although it's worse with men than with women).
I recently got a vibrator from my friends for my 18th birthday, but I wasn't able to feel any pleasure even after several tries. It feels too intense. Scary and too close to actual sex. I tried to just push through it but I'm just making myself uncomfortable.
I don't really know what to do about it. I want to experience sex and love like other people but it feels like my body is fighting it against my will.
Any tips?

[Nicole]

Hi Toad,

Welcome to the boards! First, I want to ask if you've always experienced these reactions to sexual activity or if this started happening after a specific sexual encounter. From what you're describing, some of this could stem from sensory issues and they aren't uncommon when it comes to physical touch. Could you expand on this?

Another thing I want to mention is the importance of putting your comfort first and not pushing yourself through anything. If it makes you uncomfortable then you have zero obligation to do it. I know some people who have gone through what you're currently experiencing and something that made approaching sex and love easier is finding a trusting and respectful partner who will listen to any concerns. Also, when it comes to masturbation, it's super important to approach it with exploration rather than expecting pleasure. This can make it less intimidating and overwhelming, plus it can help you better connect with your body. Overall, the best course of action is to listen to your body. Does that make sense?