Sexual Shame

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
Forum rules
We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.

Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.

Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
staplesj_
not a newbie
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2023 11:05 am
Age: 27
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm left handed: )
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity: straight
Location: West Virginia

Sexual Shame

Unread post by staplesj_ »

So I have been going through a rough time. I grew up in the church and often times felt shame for wanting to have sex before I got married. A part of me really wants to explore sex and physical intimacy but at times i fear my views from the church. I want to break out of this but at times i don't know how. Even though in christianity masturbation is seen as sinful I do it anyway : )

I want to have sex and I know I will. I want positive sexual encounters but I don't know where to start. I'm hoping by viewing my body in a healthy way and engaging in safe sex will help me break out of the shame.

I rememeber when I was younger and I was masturbating in my room for the first time when I was in high school. I got walked in on and i was grounded for a month.

I'm willing to take the steps to get out of this shame so I can enjoy sex.
Top
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Sexual Shame

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi staplesj,

Oof, the grounding on top of the already shame-based messages can really set the precedent in your brain that masturbation=bad. I think a good starting place is actually our Impurity Culture series; it's written by two authors who went through the process of unlearning the negative messages about sex from their religious upbringing. For instance, they actually wrote a piece engaging with the issue of masturbation: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... s_selfcare. I also find this article is a good starting point for unlearning some shame, especially if it's tied to ideas of sin: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... uality_sin
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Top
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Supporting Each Other”