Pregnancy scare, advice and reassurance?

[kiwious]

Am new here so not sure if this is allowed. But I’ve been having really bad pregnancy anxiety recently and need advice. Some info: my typical cycle is around 33-38 days but they can get quite haywire at times where I had 28 days and also 44 days. I don’t think I have a healthy cycle as I get PMS symptoms 7-10 days before my periods, including cramps, which I heard aren’t normal.

This month, I had sex on day 12 and day 27 of my cycle. We used both condoms and withdrawal, and my partner pulled out long before ejaculating, I had to use other methods to help him finish. He mentioned that the rims of the condom were always visible (i.e. not past my labia, so it’s fitting properly). We also filled it with water to check for any leaks and we didn’t see any. The expiry date was still years away, and it’s kept in the original box inside a cupboard drawer. He also hasn’t masturbated in at least a day or two. This month I also took some traditional chinese medicine for a week. I’m not sure what they contain, probably herbs? I had told the physician regarding my bad PMS and period pains.

I have taken a pregnancy test on days 36, 41, 42 and 43, all were negative. The ones on days 36 and 42 were with a test with supposedly 25 and 20 mIU/mL hCG sensitivity (not sure of the units) respectively, and days 41 and 43 were with tests of 10 mIU/mL hCG sensitivity. They were second urine of the day but I held off on water and also hold my pee for about 2-3h. Today is day 43 and I haven’t had my period nor do I have the typical PMS symptoms I usually get.

I’m really worried about this. I know there will always be a chance of pregnancy as long as intercourse happens, but is it worth worrying about? Should I go to the doctor for a quantitative hCG blood test? They’re expensive where I live so if possible I wouldn’t want to do them. Also, Is this the correct way of using a condom, and is it very effective? What other ways can it fail?

Would be happy with some advice and reassurance on this. Abortion services are easily available here but I’m afraid of my parents finding out, if anything does happen.

[Sam W]

Hi kiwious,

Given that the condom did not break or come off, and that you used withdrawal on top of it, and that you've had four negative pregnancy tests, I don't think an additional, blood test is necessary.

Since you know your cycle still has some irregularity, it's likely that, and not pregnancy, is the reason your period hasn't arrived yet. There are also other factors that can cause a period to arrive late, and you can read about those here:
M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

[kiwious]

Hi Sam,

Thank you for your reply. When I mentioned that I’ve had cycles 28 (my shortest recorded cycle) and 44 days (my longest recorded cycle) long, I forgot to mention that they were not in consecutive months but rather across the years of having periods. I only started tracking about 4 years ago though. Is this considered irregularity too, if they didn’t happen in consecutive months?

I also made a typo - my last pregnancy test was on day 44 and not day 43, if that matters (since a day could make a difference). I’m worried that I’m testing too early or that my urine is not sufficiently concentrated, and hence a false negative.

I’m also wondering if it’s possible for a condom to have tears that are not detected even when filled with water? And could precum somehow spill out the top of the condom? What constitutes a slippage of condom?

I’ve seen the link you shared. Are there any reasons for no ovulation, or is this something that just happens randomly once in a while? I’ve never missed a period before.

[Sam W]

Yes, it's considered irregularity even if the "irregular" months don't come one after the other. And as far as the pregnancy tests go, as long as you've been following the directions about when and how to test, there's no reason to assume the results would be wrong (and getting for false negatives in a row would be incredibly unlikely).

When it comes to condoms breaking, when they break it's obvious; think like a popped balloon, not some kind of itty bitt hole. And condoms are designed to keep fluids in and conform to the size of penis they're on, so unless the condom was way, way to big for him, the fluid all stayed in it. Too, when it comes to condom slippage, a condom has to come all the way off before it's even considered to pose a risk.

Things like stress, big shifts in weight, excessive exercise, and hormone fluctuation can all contribute to ovulation not occurring

[kiwious]

Hi Sam,

I see. Does that mean a manufacturer error tear would expand and create a huge hole during the intercourse? If it doesn’t, would the water test detect that? It’s just that I’ve heard quite a few stories where the person claim to not know that the condom failed, didn’t see any tears and not being sure if it slipped, or simply just saying that they did everything right yet still got pregnant. They pulled out too, so again there’s that fear of precum containing viable sperm. Those mistakes you mentioned would’ve been really obvious. Would you say these stories are fake/they recalled wrongly/don’t want to admit their wrong usage?

[Sam W]

I can't really say why those other people said what they did, only that we know that when condoms are used for all activities that pose a risk and do not break/come off, they're a really effective method of birth control.

We actually don't recommend that "water test" because it can create holes or tears that weren't actually there during sex and, because when condoms break due to manufacturer or user error, they do so in a very noticeable way. So the water test doesn't reveal a hole that was already there but not seen.