Scarleteen

Hi there!

Please can you point me in the direction of your resources/articles about implantation bleeding?

Also, you may not answer this question which is fine, but is 18 days after a risk too long for bleeding to be implantation bleeding?

Hi! Sure - there's info about it here, if you scroll down about halfway. I will say, implantation bleeding is not common, and usually happens around the time of your normal period time. It's usually around 2 weeks after conception, so 18 days *could* be it maybe, but it's unlikely.

Thanks Sofi!

Due to unfortunately needing treatment for cancer, my previous trauma around pregnancy related anxiety has come back, I’ve been triggered by recent hospital treatments/stays. I haven’t got anyone to talk to about this, so I’m just letting it out here.

Oh and just to be clear, I’m not looking for pregnancy scare advice, would just like to write how I’m feeling down somewhere.

I have had counselling since 2014 but it now doesn’t serve me in the way it used to, I am ‘overcounselled’.

Hi Kela,

I'm so sorry, a cancer diagnosis sounds like an incredibly stressful and scary thing to be navigating. It makes a lot of sense that your pregnancy anxiety is flaring back up; as you said, getting treatment is exposing you to medical environments that can kick that anxiety off, but also when we're under stress, sometimes our anxiety can find extra things to cling to. Which can suck, because the last thing you need on top of any anxiety you feel about your diagnosis or treatment is some bonus anxiety about pregnancy.

You mention being overcounselled and feeling like that process has lost it's utility. Has that been a topic you've raised with the counselor you're seeing? I ask because they and you may be able to figure out if taking a break or otherwise adjusting when/how you receive counseling, to see if that means that when you do access it, it's actually helping you.

Hi Sam,

So it is actually something me and her agreed on, I have the tools, it’s up to me now to use them. Inbetween medical appts and covid, I haven’t really had much chance to see her, and when I have, the cancer stuff has taken priority.

My first sexual health related trauma was when I was 18/19. That’s 10 years ago now, but I still get triggered. I don’t know if it will ever go away. Maybe it hasn’t because I’ve not been treating it as a trauma, just as something that happened.

I'm glad you two have been working on that! Does it feel like the tools and techniques you have are actually helpful when the pregnancy anxiety pops back up?

One of the most frustrating things about trauma is that when, how, and to what degree it heals is so variable and unpredictable, and sometimes some effects do linger no matter what a person does. It may very well be that by treating what happened as less traumatic than it actually was means healing is taking more time, and that if you were to address it more directly it might feel like it resolved or healed more. That's certainly something worth exploring if you want to, but I imagine right now it feels like the cancer treatment and all that surrounds it feels more urgent?

Yeah it does, I know how to use the tools but sometimes the anxiety becomes too big to overcome, especially now when it comes to body checking after having a cancer diagnosis.

I mean, if you read my previous posts on here, it contains details of the traumas, but you might not think they’re traumatic enough to count, but to an anxious young woman raised in a toxic religious home, they’re all things that were very traumatic for me

Hi Kela,

I'm so sorry that you're going through so much all at once. It sounds overwhelming and I wish you all the best. I want to mention that your trauma is entirely valid, even if you don't think it's "not traumatic enough" to count. Each individual can only handle so much. After skimming through your recent previous posts, I see that a lot of your anxieties have been focused on birth control. I want to reiterate Sam's idea of possibly not treating your pregnancy anxieties as urgent as they were, which may have led them to continue to be unresolved. Have you considered approaching a counselor about this? This, in addition to the recent cancer diagnosis, sounds incredibly difficult. I know you said you have the tools and know how to use them, but maybe they may not be enough for previous anxieties if they were not treated with full urgency. Does that make sense?

Yes, and since covid I’ve become more reflective, especially since I was on my own a lot wfh, and since my cancer diagnosis I’ve become a lot more refective too. I should point out, it’s not a cancer I’m likely to die from, but I have thought a lot about mortality and my past.

Also, there’s a lot more awareness these days around trauma responses I feel. I’ve been struggling with some pelvic pain that flares with my health anxiety in general, but I’ve recently been looking into it more and I think I have an overactive pelvic floor, and I’m sure it’s related to my sexual traumas. I have read your great article on overactive pelvic floor from the pelvic PT which I found quite useful, and I’m having some other minor health issues in that region that I didn’t realise were connected!

I’ve only had CBT counselling, maybe I need to look into trauma specific counselling.

I'm so glad the Pelvis Problems series has been helpful for you! And I do think it would be worth looking into trauma specific counseling; even if you decide not to pursue it right now, knowing what your options look like can be beneficial if you want to try it out down the road.

Thanks Sam, once this cancer stuff blows over I will look into it.

I once had a 36 day cycle shortly after coming off the implant, so I know it was a fluke as I was getting back into a regular cycle, and the longest cycle I’ve had that was normal was 33. When trying to calculate a late period, do I wait until day 37 or day 34?

A rule of thumb some people use is '7 days after the expected start', but many people have irregular cycles so there's not an exact number or formula. In your case if 30 is typical and 33 is your longest "normal" cycle then 37 seems like an appropriate marker. There are so many variables unrelated to pregnancy that can affect your start day, though, so it's hard to give an exact answer. Here's an article with more on that: M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

Thanks Sofi- in order not to drip feed information, I have thyroid cancer, so had to have it taken out, so am now on lifelong medication. I know thyroid stuff can mess up periods too which doesn’t help my anxiety!

Thank you for sharing, and I'm sending you so many positive vibes! You're right, it can, so that certainly doesn't help. I do think doing work around trauma in counseling would be good, as well as maybe some pelvic floor therapy. Is that something you'd be willing to look into?

Yes, definitely! I’m in a position where I can afford private counselling

This is great to hear! If you feel comfortable, please keep us updated on the process. We're always here when you need us. Take care!