Scarleteen

Hi - I think I definitely suffer from pregnancy ocd where I think I’m pregnant from things that probably are unlikely. I read a couple articles on your page about how pregnancy works and things you can and can’t be pregnant from. I’m still concerned I might be that one in a million who gets pregnant from this. My boyfriend and I were engaging in manual sex. He didn’t ejaculate, but I’m worried there may have been precum on either his fingers or mine before we put those fingers in my vagina. I’m 22 and I know the basics that sperm has to be in contact with the vagina to create a pregnancy but I can’t stop obsessing that some got in there somehow. I’m unable to access birth control or emergency contraception for my area which is why my boyfriend and I are waiting for PIV sex. Do you have any reassurances that I’m not pregnant from this and how to talk to my boyfriend about my pregnancy ocd?

Hi Keely869667,

As you already said yourself, you can't be pregnant from this because manual sex doesn't pose a risk. Part of the reason for that is that, even if sperm had been present in pre-ejaculate and that had made it's way onto or into your genitals, there still wouldn't be a risk; sperm just can't survive that trip.

But, it sounds like you already know that this is more about anxiety than anything else. Do you notice yourself being unable to let go of fears about other things as well,or is pregnancy fear the only time it seems to happen?

When it comes to talking about this with your boyfriend, are there specific things you're hoping will come from that conversation? For instance, are you thinking that the two of you may need to pause or scale back the sexual activities you're engaging in and only do things that don't set off this fear?

I definitely struggle with OCD related fears in other areas of my life. I guess with this situation I’m torn between really wanting to engage in certain types of sexual activities and also feeling a lot of fear and guilt (probably religious based and trying to overcome that). I want to talk to my boyfriend about perhaps pausing activities that make me anxious so I can have time to think and process my true feelings without feeling like I can do things again because I already did them once. And I learned from reading on here that that’s okay. I think waiting until I can access birth control to make me more comfortable is probably a good idea. But thank you so much for your quick response to help relieve some of my anxieties surrounding this!

You're very welcome, and I think you've set out some really great next steps for yourself! If you end up needing help with any of them, you know where to find us.