Problems with sexual stimulation

[Watercog100]

I have never been able to masturbate. I've never gotten anywhere with my fingers, and I recently bought my first vibrator but that isn't working either. It feels good for a few minutes but then my clit starts to hurt. I've never had a sexual partner before but I'm worried this will be an issue in the future. Why might this be happening?

[Carly]

Hey Watercog100 -- welcome to the boards! This is actually one of the most common questions folks write into us about. It's highly unlikely the issues you're having right now have nothing to do with something actually being wrong with your body, and more to do with trying to find what works best for you and think about the things that could be getting in the way of you enjoying masturbation.

A reason that this could be happening is you haven't found the thing that works best yet. Bodies are all so different, which makes this a hard question to answer despite it being one that gets asked a lot. We don't know what combination of things will work for your unique body, and the only way for you to know is to try different things. There are so many ways to masturbate beyond what may typically comes to mind, our resource Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation goes over some common ways people masturbate. Maybe there's something new in here for you?

Second thing I want to suggest here is that perhaps this isn't connected too much to the physical body at all. Our biggest sexual organ is actually our brain, and if thoughts are pulling us away from what's happening it can result in not being present enough to enjoy that physical stimuli. This could possibly take the form of you being hyperaware that you're not enjoying masturbating, which will for sure make it even harder. Depression, anxiety, situational stress, and body image struggles have also impacted users who asked about experiencing similar stuff.

Any of this resonating with you?