Scarleteen

So I have been contemplating if or when I want to have my first time sexually with someone. I am still working through shame from religion but I think that getting over my fear and shame is actually having a sexual encounter with someone I trust. I wanted to start of with things like cuddling and kissing and stuff like that just to get comfortable. For me, seeing the opposite sex naked is something new for me. I've always thought I had to wait until marriage to see something like that.

Do you think that non ( PIV ) like say oral sex or touching are good starting points?

Hi staplesj_ ,

If you want to start exploring sexual relationships with other people, a good first step would be to take some time to figure out what sexual activities sound good to you, or that you think you'd be comfortable trying out. We have two resources that I really like for that process:
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/rela ... een_zine_0

Beyond that, a good starting point is what feels exciting and comfortable for you and your partner. There's no one, "right" activity to start with; there's just the ones that feel right to you. Does that make sense?

Since this all very new to you and you're still unlearning some negative messages around sex, I think it's also important to think about where you are in terms of being ready to explore sex with someone else. This article goes over different things you can consider when making that choice: Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist