After some poor sexual experiences i feel as though I’ll never enjoy sexual things ever again

[amazingwater]

Hello! I’m not really sure how to word any of this since I’ve never posted a question here before so i will just simply explain my situation!

I have been sexually abused (or sexually assaulted?) multiple times some non contact and others with contact and i feel as though I’ll never be comfortable enough to engage in that kind of stuff with my partner and even if i were i am unsure i would enjoy it.

To go into detail when i was about 8 years old my “girlfriend” (in an elementary way) forced me to do sexual things with her this included eating her out, tongue kissing, her touching me, and other things. even if i told her i wasn’t comfortable and i didn’t want it she would make me do it anyways she would insult me during these moments and after she eventually left me, after that in the summer of last year some guys i met would ask me for really sexual favors and because of my previous experience i did most of what they said because i was afraid they would leave me.

Now here in the present I’ve met a really great guy he makes me extremely happy and loved but also extremely horny but I’m scared to engage in such things with him i know he would never harm me but I’m still scared we’ve managed to do it a few times but others i am completely avoidant. How can i get over my fears so we can be intimate together?

[Logan W]

Hi amazingwater,

I'm so sorry that you had those experiences. Healing is not linear and it's hard to know where to begin. I have a couple of previous advice articles that might provide some good insight. One advice article lists further resources that you can look into:

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... do_i_begin

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/rela ... nd_assault

Can I ask if there is a trusted adult in your life that you can talk to about what happened?