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Why is it that some days I'm really confident in my sexuality and others I feel like I'm faking it?
Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2023 2:31 am
by Xoxu9563
I(16F) currently define myself as omnisexual, but I'm not always 100% confident with that label. I specifically feel like I'm "faking" an attraction to women on some days. I know that I'm not because I feel very attracted to both women online and women I've met in real life, but whenever I feel attracted to men I feel like I'm faking being queer at all and that I'm just joining the "trend". I just get really sad and uncomfortable when I start to question myself every time despite knowing that being attracted to a man doesn't make women unattractive to me. Is this normal?
Re: Why is it that some days I'm really confident in my sexuality and others I feel like I'm faking it?
Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2023 8:16 am
by Latha
Hi there, Xoxu9563, welcome to the boards! You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way- so many people who experience attraction to more than one gender feel this kind of ‘imposter syndrome’.
I think this is at least in part because there are many misconceptions and stereotypes out there about what it means to be omnisexual (or any of the other m-spec orientations). Some people will say that we’re just doing it for the attention- joining the trend, as you say. Others see us as ‘really straight’ or ‘really gay’ (and when we express atraction to someone of one gender, it is somehow proof of that). By existing in the world, its fairly easy to internalize these ideas, which can make us doubt ourselves some days.
At their core, as you know, m-spec orientations are about feeling attraction to more then one gender. That leaves a lot of room for variation- people can experience different amounts and types of attraction to people of different genders, and their experience of this attraction can change over time. Given that, I want to reassure you that you’re not wrong- if you think that you’re omnisexual, you are.
Re: Why is it that some days I'm really confident in my sexuality and others I feel like I'm faking it?
Posted: Tue May 23, 2023 10:50 am
by aarija
It's also important to remember that our feelings and thoughts fluctuate on a regular basis. Feeling confident one day and uncertain the next is perfectly normal, especially in the teen years. And like Latha said, its very easy to internalize ideas that other people have, but at the end of the day, you're the only one who can define your identity.