a few concerns about my clitoris and the anatomy of my vulva

[SillyMcGoof_]

hello! i just have a few concerns regarding my vulva’s anatomy bc im not 100% sure if certain things are normal or not (mainly regarding the clitoris)

1) i cant see a clitoral hood, or the hood just covers the glans so i cant see it, im not sure but it just kinda looks like one flush thing if that makes sense

2) when i pull back the outer labia to look, the thing that i think is my clitoris doesn’t look super obvious if that makes sense? like depending on how i position my hands it almost disappears and looks like i dont have a clitoris if that makes sense. it a bit hard to describe

idk im just a bit worried about some of these things and im not sure if these things are normal. my vulva doesn’t seem to look like most peoples vulvas that i see in diagrams and pictures so im just a bit concerned and also a bit insecure about it

thank you!!

[Sofi]

Hi there! Vulvas can look pretty different from person to person when it comes to things like our clitoral hood and labia, so it's okay if you feel yours is different from most diagrams and photos you've seen. There's nothing wrong with it, and you shouldn't feel insecure about it, although it's a valid feeling many people experience at a young age. Both things you described sound normal - some people's clitoral hood is larger/easier to point out than others, and some people's clitoris also is larger/easier to see (they also change in size with arousal, so what you see one day may be different than the next). I'm happy to send some of our resources so you can do some reading on it, but also let me know if you have any more questions!
Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More
Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small)
Betty Dodson's Vulva Illustrations

[SillyMcGoof_]

thank you this all helps alot!!

i cant think of any questions atm but i probably will in a bit, when i do i’ll ask em! i think part of the reason im insecure about my vulva is that i dont see many people that have one like me and also im trans so i feel a bit bad about having a small clit. idk all these feelings are really confusing and it doesn’t really help that for me its hard to tell which part of my vulva is what.

i kinda went on a tangent there so my apologies, but yeah!

[Sofi]

No worries, what you're saying makes sense and is valid. Do you want to talk more about it?

[SillyMcGoof_]

i would if thats ok!

[Sofi]

Sure, that's what we're here for! Has this genital dysphoria been going on for a while or is it something sorta new?

[SillyMcGoof_]

i guess its sort of new. i think it’s mostly due to the language people use regarding vulvas and not that much regarding my genitals themselves if that makes sense. like for example when people say vulvas are “female anatomy” or use similar language that just gives me alot of dysphoria. i went more into this in another post but its pretty ranty/venty so yeah

[Sofi]

Absolutely - this language is so much more harmful than people realize. I'll leave that for the other post, but for this one, I just want to say your feelings around this are valid. Unfortunately many trans people deal with gender and/or genital dysphoria, but on the bright side, it means there are resources out there (if you search the boards here, you'll find other users with similar struggles and can get some ideas from those posts). Mainly I want to make sure you're finding ways to do things that are gender affirming for you, both during masturbation (which you discussed in another thread) and just in general. This can be clothing or even little things like scents (cologne and such). Have you been able to find ways to do this? It can help with dysphoria for many people, and I'd be glad to give a few more ideas if you'd like.

[SillyMcGoof_]

honestly i don’t really know if i’ve found many gender affirming things yet. its a bit difficult because my family is kinda tight on money rn so we don’t really have the money to go clothes shopping and stuff. i might try to do more masc makeup but also i’ve been a bit hesitant bc lately i’ve been insecure about my face due to the tons of scabs and stuff i have on my face from my dermatillomania. but besides that im not sure

[Carly]

Hey SillyMcGoof -- I notice that money is often a big factor when it comes to gender affirmation, especially for younger users. I'm always wondering if there's something that isn't material or something one needs to buy that could be gender affirming. Maybe, if anatomy language is something that comes up for you, you could think about other words you can use for when you're talking about parts of your body? I do think there are some spaces where using more technical terms is actually helpful, like if you were to ask a specific sexual health question here or to a doctor. But, for when you think about yourself and look at yourself, you really could choose whatever you want. This is just an example, of course - but can you think of anything like that? Or perhaps that resonates actually?

[SillyMcGoof_]

huh i actually haven’t thought of that much. i have thought of a few words to mainly call my vulva specifically but they’re definitely more on the silly side (mangina, bussy/boypussy, misc words for penises, although i’ve been hesitant to use those bc idk my brain tells me i cant call my vulva a penis bc i technically dont have one, moobs, man tiddies, stuff like that). i cant really think of any more tho, atm. the main ones im kinda stuck on are words for my uterus and breasts bc i dont have many ideas for those, but i should also probably find more words for my vulva too

[Sam W]

Hi SillyMcGoof_ ,

I will say finding those words is one of those things where it's usually a process of just trying them out and paying attention to your own reaction to them. If you have access to spaces with other trans masc folks, they may also be able to supply some ideas you haven't heard of. One that I can think of is it's very common for people to swap out "chest" for breasts, because it feels like a more neutral or masculine term (although ultimately everyone has breasts, regardless of gender).

[SillyMcGoof_]

oo ok thanks!!!