Hi kaworuu_,
(Just curious, is your username an Evangelion reference?)
This is a really common question that we receive! I want to start off by sharing that it's very normal for women to not feel much pleasure or even orgasm from fingering. The vagina past the first inch or so does not have many nerve endings. The outer third, closest to the vaginal opening, contains nearly 90% of the nerve endings of the whole vagina, meaning the back two-thirds have 10%. I also want to share that the sole purpose of the clitoris is to let you experience sexual pleasure, so that might be why that type of masturbation works best for you.
You can read more about this here:
Not feeling much with penetration, what's up with that?.
I totally understand your concern about partnered sex in the future, so I want to recommend this article of ours that I think you might benefit from reading:
Yield for Pleasure. Please take a look and let me know if you have any questions!
As for wanting to feel fingering more, I feel like you're on the right track. Since you already know that clitoral stimulation works for you, it seems like you're already incorporating that into fingering. This is a good start! Also, it always helps to find a safe environment, get comfortable, relax, explore, see what feels good, and go with the flow. I know that sounds easier said than done, but many tend to rush into masturbation with expectations. It's important to go into it with an open mind!
I hope any of this resonates with you!
