Scarleteen

Ok so there's this girl I met at the beginning of this school year and we've become pretty good friends. She's a year older than me and she's pretty, smart, and plays the violin. We both like anime and crocheting and she skips her gym class sometimes to hang out with me and some other friends in the library. She always compliments me and holds my hand and it's really confusing because I don't know if I'm reading too much into it or not (She's pansexual btw). Last weekend, we went to see a movie with another one of our friends. I sat in the middle of them both, and throughout the whole movie (I mean the ENTIRE movie) she held my hand. I don't know if I'm reading too much into this or not. I know I should probably just outright ask her but it's not that easy, because if she says no then I'll feel like an idiot, and if she says yes then I won't know what to do because I've never been in a relationship. I think the thing I'm most worried about is that if we do get into a relationship then I'll probably have to kiss her, which I want to do but it makes me really nervous whenever I think about it, like it seriously makes me a little bit nauseous (because I'm nervous not because its gross). I guess I'm also nervous that if we do get into a relationship then she might get bored of me and I'll ruin a relationship AND a friendship. I know I'm worrying about problems that aren't even relevant right now but I don't want to lock myself in a box without being sure it's 100% what I want.

There's other stuff I'm worried about too. Like, she's gonna be a senior next year, and what if she goes off to college and we're still dating? Or what if she doesn't like the same music I like? Or what if she doesn't like rollerskating? Or, I know that people in relationships always feel the need to text each other all the time but I can't stand texting people. I know these seem like stupid, insignificant things but it really makes me nervous when I think of it altogether.

I guess what I want to know is should I ask her? should I wait for her to ask me? How do I even go about asking someone something like this? I guess I should just go for it at this point because I'm almost 16 and I've never dated anyone ever but I really feel like a middle schooler about this kind of stuff - I get embarrassed when I think about kissing someone or having sex (or even holding hands in a romantic way) even though there's nothing wrong with it. I know everyone moves at their own pace but i feel like a have a potentially good opportunity in front of me and i really don't want to fuck it up because I'm too messy to get my emotions in order.

Hi MissBeehive,

It seems like you have a lot of questions about the potentials that could happen but let's start at step one. I first want to ask if you have romantic feelings for this person. Do you want to ask this person out? If that's the case, then great! I think you have a lot going on in your mind and it might be helpful to have answers so asking this person if they feel the same as you would help to alleviate that. I know that it's very easy to get carried away with all the questions that are swimming around in your brain but just taking it one step at a time and just asking if they feel the same as you is a good starting point.