I can’t feel anything when I masturbate

[Anon20M]

I’m a 20 year old male, I’ve never felt any pleasurable feeling/sensation when I masturbate. (I’ve also never had a partner so I don’t know if it would be able to perform with a partner.) I am able to get an erection, and have had wet dreams before so I do not think it is ED. I am not sure if it numb penis as I have never had anything to compare to. Any advice, I have been to a doctor before but I find gps are largely useless these days, and to add to that it is pretty embarrassing, I also find it hard to make it to appointments due to a separate condition I have.

[Sam W]

Hi Anon20M,

When you say you aren't having any sensation, do you mean you're not feeling anything in your penis, period? Or is it more that you feel something but it's not as intense or as pleasurable as you're hoping it would be?

[Anon20M]

Anything at all really, I can feel my hand on it, but that’s it.

[Elise]

Hi Anon20M, thanks for clarifying that: if I'm interpreting what you've said correctly, it sounds like you can feel the motions of masturbation on your penis, but don't derive more pleasurable feelings from that.

You mention being able to experience an erection, however do you do so (ie. get aroused) before trying to masturbate? The brain is a really important part of the whole sexual response system, you can read more about it here:

• The Great Arousal Mismatch: When Bodies and Brains Don't Line Up
• With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body (you can see that the brain goes first in this article).
• Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

If this sounds like it might apply to your situation at present (a situation that most people will encounter more than once in their lifetimes), then one thing you might try is finding some sexual media that you find arousing, or find ways to address the stresses or pressure that might be impacting yourself here. This can look like finding ways to decompress and relax after work and/or uni (depending on what you do atm), and also just taking a break from pressuring yourself to masturbate for the time being.

If sex (including with yourself) is something that you actually don't have a great deal of interest in right now (more of a "I should want" than a "I want"), then directing yourself towards things that are fun and relaxing for you at the moment is the best use of your time and energy, sex will always be there.

I hope this is useful, please feel free to reply with any questions or curiosities you might have about this, and if you feel that this doesn't quite fit with how you're experiencing things at the moment, let us know and we can continue the discussion in that direction too.