Problems post sex encounter

[jadekenworth]

Hello, I am really lost as to what to do. To start from the beginning, I was really drunk at a house party and I had protected sex with a boy (we used a condom) who goes to my school, however shortly after entering his penis inside me he lost his erection for whatever reason and couldn’t get it back. After his penis just kept sliding out of me he gave up and literally just got dressed and ran away without saying a word. The next day I told my close friends about this encounter including the part about him losing his erection and unfortunately one of my friends (or all of them I don’t know) ended up telling other people which I can’t believe they would do this as they are my closest Friends and I thought I could trust them. This led to to the boy I slept with being absolutely ridiculed and everyone making fun of him that he lost his erection. I was distraught that this had happened and I blamed myself strongly I felt physically sick and was having sleepless nights where I was physically vomiting through guilt. I sent him a long message saying how sorry I am and that it wasn’t me who told everyone I only told 3 of my closest friends. He didn’t respond and instead he started telling people that I was so disgusting that my ass was super dirty and smelled like poop, yet he still managed to continue and keep his erection but then I was so drunk I literally pooped on his penis which is the reason he lost his erection.I am so so sure this is just lies and he just said this so that now I’m the talking point of the school not him. Literally everyone at school is talking and laughing about this all the times and calling me filthy whore and stuff. Even teachers keep giving me weird looks. While I’m very sure none of this is true, I can’t know for sure and if it is true I did and I did poop on penis during sex that means it’s possible poop would have gone inside my vagina which then puts me at risk for an sti despite using a condom. Now I’m just really scared and worried and I don’t know what to do next.

[Sam W]

Hi jadekenworth,

So, let's get one practical thing out of the way first; it's totally common for cis guys to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection, and if he was also drinking that makes it even more likely. Him losing his isn't a sign of him, or you, doing anything wrong. You can read more about that here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... t_can_i_do.

I'm so sorry that your friend broke your confidence like that, and that this guy is responding to his own feelings of humiliation by trying to humiliate you instead (and that people are treating you badly as a result). If you want to talk about how to navigate the situation with the rumors at school, that's certainly something we can talk about.

What's more concerning to me is that you were under the influence to the degree that you can't remember the details of what was happening when you two had sex. Was he also under the influence? And was this the first time you've tried to be sexual in a situation like this, or was this a new experience for you?