Scarleteen

Hello again.

In one of my previous posts, I said that I was allosexual, but now I’m not sure.

Now that I consider my various crushes, none of them have strong sexual elements, mostly romantic and platonic.
I know that there isn’t always a hard line between those, especially for romantic and sexual, but I feel pretty clearly that it’s mostly romantic.

I’m fine with this, but I am wondering if people know of labels that would work to describe this.
Demisexual and gray-asexual don’t feel right, and the sexual element is consistently there, just not very strong.
I’m also fine with no extra labels, lesbian works.
So, any suggestions appreciated!

(I’m also wondering if any of you have thoughts on this, or maybe some ideas that would help me process this.)

Hi Asking Queries,

I think a helpful starting place here would be to talk about the fact that allosexual people experience sexual attraction in different amounts, and amounts that vary throughout their lifetimes. Things like stress, medication, what our hormones are doing, or whether there's anyone in out orbit we find sexually attractive are just a few of things that contribute to our levels of interest in sex during a given period of time. So, there are plenty of allosexual folks who find their interest in sex isn't super strong, or that it goes away entirely at times. Does that make sense?

Yeah, that makes sense.
It was a very rapid realization, so I think I kinda overreacted, instead of just thinking what you said.

Although, I do think I have felt like this throughout my life, so perhaps I am allosexual, just in this way. (To be honest though, I don’t have all that much experience to judge this on.)

I think I’m being dismissive, what I am experiencing definitely fits being allosexual, although it doesn’t feel very strong.

Sorry.

Oh, you don't need to apologize, you haven't done anything wrong! These things can be confusing.

P.S. I don't think it matters that you don't have a lot of experience. Whatever label you choose now can be good enough- you don't need to be 100% certain. You can always adjust the labels you use later, if your experiences change your understanding of yourself.

Thanks, I appreciate it!

Now is when I’d usually say to close the topic or something, but it seems like topics are left open here. (I don’t mind that at all, I’m just not sure how to indicate that I don’t feel like I need any more advice.)