Scarleteen is closed for the next two days, so that's Thursday, October 31st (for Halloween) and Friday, November 1st (for Diwali). We'll be back and able to answer your questions on Saturday. Catch you soon!
Should I be getting into relationships in highschool even if im not attracted to the people?
-
- newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon May 01, 2023 10:51 pm
- Age: 18
- Awesomeness Quotient: I love math and geometry!!
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: He/him
- Sexual identity: Gay/bi (still workin on it)
- Location: Seattle
Should I be getting into relationships in highschool even if im not attracted to the people?
Ive heard advice from people older than me saying that you should try (for lack of better word) to be in relationships even with people you aren't attracted to. To me this seems nonsensical and insensitive of the feelings of the potential partner for a plethora of reasons. Although this would hypothetically gives me the relationship experience i wish to have when I meet The One it seems cruel. Does this seem unethical/harmful in any way? Should I be embracing this experience of dating people even if I'm not attracted to them?
-
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 69
- Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2022 8:34 pm
- Age: 36
- Awesomeness Quotient: I play roller derby and love to skate outside!
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, queer, demiromantic
- Location: Chicago, IL
Re: Should I be getting into relationships in highschool even if im not attracted to the people?
Hi Elly,
I think it's important to listen to your intuition and what you feel is right with this. Getting into relationships just to be in a relationship could hurt the other person and break their trust. But it also wouldn't feel good for you either. You deserve to surround yourself with people you actually want to be around - people who share your interests, sense of humor, values, etc. Are you personally interested in dating in high school? Or is this something you're feeling pressure to get into?
I think it's important to listen to your intuition and what you feel is right with this. Getting into relationships just to be in a relationship could hurt the other person and break their trust. But it also wouldn't feel good for you either. You deserve to surround yourself with people you actually want to be around - people who share your interests, sense of humor, values, etc. Are you personally interested in dating in high school? Or is this something you're feeling pressure to get into?
-
- newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon May 01, 2023 10:51 pm
- Age: 18
- Awesomeness Quotient: I love math and geometry!!
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: He/him
- Sexual identity: Gay/bi (still workin on it)
- Location: Seattle
Re: Should I be getting into relationships in highschool even if im not attracted to the people?
I think my interest in dating stems more from a personal standpoint than that of peer pressure. I just wonder whether accepting someones advances, even if you aren't initially attracted to them is morally unjust.
-
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 653
- Joined: Sat May 22, 2021 6:13 am
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: India
Re: Should I be getting into relationships in highschool even if im not attracted to the people?
Hi there, Elly! I don't think it would necessarily be morally unjust to do that, but I think it's important to communicate clearly about how you feel. Don't promise something that you can't give- you'd need to tell the other person that you don't reciprocate their feelings, but you're willing to explore a relationship with them.
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
New post hate myself for being attracted to men
by Lyle Lanley » Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:31 am » in Sexual Identity - 4 Replies
- 7822 Views
-
Last post by StephR
Wed May 08, 2024 10:58 am
-
-
- 1 Replies
- 4009 Views
-
Last post by Sam W
Tue Apr 23, 2024 6:59 am
-
-
New post Scared of being attracted to women
by suomi » Mon Oct 07, 2024 1:21 pm » in Sexual Identity - 4 Replies
- 1130 Views
-
Last post by Heather
Mon Oct 07, 2024 2:32 pm
-
-
-
New post Attracted to my gay friend as a transmasc
by trixieandtoast » Tue May 07, 2024 3:56 pm » in Got Questions? Get Answers. - 21 Replies
- 5115 Views
-
Last post by trixieandtoast
Wed May 15, 2024 10:23 am
-
-
-
New post The girl I'm dating is perfect but I'm not attracted to her
by pabbas » Sun Jan 07, 2024 8:43 pm » in Relationships - 3 Replies
- 9929 Views
-
Last post by Sam W
Mon Jan 08, 2024 2:24 pm
-