i don’t feel any pleasure when I finger myself

[lulu28843]

hi guys! 17 year old female here. since I was about 14 ive had pretty healthy and active sexual activity, moreso alone more than with others. ive always used clitoral stimulation to finish and it works well, i can get wet and it feels good but when i try to use my fingers or insert anything into myself, it feels clinical and I don’t feel any pleasure at all. i can get two fingers in max but i just can’t finish. its like a weird pressure and it’s not uncomfortable or painful, it just feels medical and i don’t really enjoy it. when i have sex, im fine with penetration and it feels good but i want to be able to orgasm on my own with more than just the outside of my vagina but it doesn’t seem to work. any tips on how to feel better? thanks!

[Sam W]

Hi lulu28843,


To start, can I ask why you want to be able to orgasm from internal stimulation, especially when it sounds like clitoral stimulation feels good to you and internal touches--at least when you're masturbating--don't?

[lulu28843]

hi! I find that clitoral stimulation works well for me, i can finish through that, but when i have sex I can finish just from penetration and it feels good. i feel like i just want to be able to achieve that on my own. but im too scared to use any toys and fingering just doesn’t feel good when i do it myself

[Sam W]

Thanks for that added detail! So, a tricky thing here is that not every kind of sexual touch will feel good for every person. In the case of inserting things into the vaginal canal, there's the added fact that it isn't all that sensitive past the first third, which is why lots of people find inserting things into it to be underwhelming.

You can, of course, keep experimenting with that kind of masturbation if you want to! You could see if certain fantasies, sexual media, or even something like talking or texting with your partner helps it be enjoyable. We could even talk about those fears around sex toys if they're something you're curious about but worried about trying. But it's also, ultimately, okay if it never moves beyond feeling kind of medical or uncomfortable. Sometimes our bodies just don't enjoy what we hope they will.