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Loneliness bites.

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
Forum rules
We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.

Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.

Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
al
not a newbie
Posts: 390
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:17 pm
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: I make zines!
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Colorado

Loneliness bites.

Unread post by al »

Being a person can be tough and lonely sometimes, but especially now. I'm feeling some of that loneliness and wondering - what do you like to do for yourself when you're feeling lonely? Do you reach out to people, or take care of your body, or do something else? Would love to hear what you're doing to feel connected and loved. <3
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully
Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by Mo »

I haven't been in the habit of having phone calls or video chats with people very much, before this year, but I've been trying to set up more regular chats with friends so I can feel a bit more connected to folks I am not able to see in person right now. To be honest, it doesn't help as much as I wish it did, but it is something, at least.
bikinksterboy
not a newbie
Posts: 282
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:32 pm
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: my willingness to try essentially anything
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity: bisexual
Location: New York, New York

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by bikinksterboy »

using video more in calls with my girlfriend has helped me a lot wrt feeling more connected to people, and I also try to care for my body when I can. Sometimes that bites back as it can become a procrastinating activity or a burden/compulsive, but it's been good generally. I want to be more regular with my self care but I've got a lot on my plate otherwise so I just haven't had the time to work something out
Melamyl
not a newbie
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:13 am
Age: 57
Awesomeness Quotient: My face
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She
Location: US

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by Melamyl »

Surround yourself with great friends that will accompany you through bad and good times. We don't really need many friends, we just need a few who's always there to listen. Reach out to those few you have, they'll surely give you comfort when you most need it.
LovePineapples
not a newbie
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 7:45 pm
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: I love art and video games
Primary language: English/Arabic
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual
Location: Land down under

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by LovePineapples »

al wrote:Being a person can be tough and lonely sometimes, but especially now. I'm feeling some of that loneliness and wondering - what do you like to do for yourself when you're feeling lonely? Do you reach out to people, or take care of your body, or do something else? Would love to hear what you're doing to feel connected and loved. <3
Hey there, I'm in the exact same position in you. It feels horrible. It just weighs us down and leaves us feeling not likeable or wanted (for me anyway).

As for what can 'help'... hmm.. I've found that doing things I really enjoy, on my own, has been more productive then 'trying' to connect with others. Sometimes the act in itself, of having to reach out to people, makes the loneliness worse (this especially applies if you get rejected a lot). We on the forum are here for you, remember that.

As for things you can do.. well it depends on who you are. If you're an athletic person, perhaps setting up a fitness goal and working towards it may help you. If you're artsy (like me), drawing.. painting.. sketching, just doing it a lot and improving your skills will give you a sense of accomplishment and comfort.

This is all considering you're lonely temporarily. If it's something long term.. I'd work on learning to enjoy your own company, and trying to make new friends (if the one's present already aren't communicating with you). I wish you the best, fellow human. You're not alone, believe me.
idk anymore
not a newbie
Posts: 97
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:22 am
Age: 19
Awesomeness Quotient: I have a pretty good sense of humor
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexual identity: Pan, mostly
Location: Epping, NH

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by idk anymore »

Yeah, I agree. Trying to connect usually makes me feel like shit. All the good relationships I've built with people have come from a lot of interaction over time. Taking time to myself has never really helped either. I've found that I do best when I don't have time to think. You should always take care of yourself tho.
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

~Morgan Freeman
kvyber
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Feb 27, 2021 6:25 pm
Age: 43
Pronouns: her
Sexual identity: gay
Location: Zurich

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by kvyber »

Prayers helps me a lot in these difficult times during pandemic.
Emily N
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 185
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2021 8:28 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: I love to cook!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity: pansexual
Location: Boston, MA

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by Emily N »

This isn't so much a tip as a self-observation about connecting with others during this time -
I feel very thankful for the technology to do video calls that have allowed me to do cooking projects with my sister over Zoom and have sparked group calls with family I haven't talked to in years. But, online socializing is definitely more exhausting for me than in person socializing, and won't ever be a full replacement. Sometimes, I find myself getting anxious that if I don't consistently communicate with friends that our relationship will get lost. I'm trying to remind myself that it's natural (and often beautiful) that relationships change over time, and just because I lose touch with someone now, it doesn't mean that our friendship in the past (or future) is less valuable.
Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by Mo »

I've really appreciated hearing from a lot of friends lately the general sentiment of "I get that communication right now is hard for a lot of us, please don't assume I don't like you if you don't hear from me and I won't assume that about you either; when we can reconnect again I will be so happy to." I know that losing touch can feel painful but it is nice to see so many folks being understanding that especially right now it can be difficult to keep up even with our favorite people.
KurtisC
not a newbie
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 12:06 pm
Age: 36
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm a neon light artist
Pronouns: he him
Sexual identity: idk i like girls
Location: uk

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by KurtisC »

I live in my imagination. Always have.
Iloveme.67
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon May 22, 2023 5:43 am
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I am kind
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Female
Location: USA

Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread post by Iloveme.67 »

I'm honestly just in my own world everyday and I wish I could explore the world and get out of this house
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