Scarleteen

Sam W wrote: ↑Mon May 29, 2023 6:41 am Okay!

So, in terms of the long-term plan of getting out into your own place, there are two directions that might make sense to start with. One is addressing the need for money, since that's going to make things like getting your own place or affording transportation easier. Another is talking about what your social circle currently looks like, who in it is supportive, and who might be able to offer you material help like rides or a couch to sleep on. Do either of those seem like the place to start?

As for how to hang on at home in the meantime, can you take a look at this article for me? https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... lationship. In that, I outline a few different strategies for making it more bearable to be in a home situation with homophobic/transphobic family. Do any of the suggestions look like things you could implement? Or things you're already doing?

Sam W wrote: ↑Tue May 30, 2023 7:08 am With the classes, this may be a spot to compromise with your mom for now, especially if agreeing to take them online means she's willing to cover the cost of them.

As for how to earn money at home, you might have more options available to you now than you would have even a few years ago, since a bit more work is remote due to the pandemic. There are also jobs like data entry where the work can be pretty monotonous but it can be done from home. And while it's pretty rare to find a job where you don't have to interact with anyone, there are some where it's pretty minimal. I really love Ask a Manager as a resource for job hunting, including things like help with cover letters and applications: https://www.askamanager.org/

Since it sounds like the shyness you experience might be bordering on social anxiety, and you mentioned anxiety and depression in your first post, have you been able to link up with any kind of mental healthcare? Or even any self-help resources for things like anxiety?

I agree that getting involved in hobbies is a great way to become too busy to be hanging around your family. Can you also give me a sense of the kind of area you're in, like whether it's a city or rural or somewhere in between? And do you have many social connections outside of your immediate family?

Sam W wrote: ↑Thu Jun 01, 2023 7:09 am I'm glad you've been able to get some medication to help manage your mental health! If it's an option, do you think working with a therapist could also help you? We could also talk about some resources that can help you manage or work through things like social anxiety if you'd like.

I also think it's worth looking into some ways for you to start broadening your social connections, both because that can have benefits in and of itself, but also because it means you'd have more supports when you eventually leave home. One possible starting place would be to look for queer spaces in your area. Do you have any sense of what those are or where they are?

Sam W wrote: ↑Fri Jun 02, 2023 6:53 am If you want to try therapy, we can also help you brainstorm how to bring that up to your mom if that would be helpful! As for self-help, this app can be a useful tool: https://mindgarden-tech.co.uk/. And I recommend checking out some of the books listed at the end of this article: https://www.scarleteen.com/anxiety_and_ ... _resources. Since it sounds like there's a social anxiety component for you, this could also be a helpful starting place: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resour ... al-Anxiety.


As for finding queer spaces in your area, one basic starting place is to do some internet sleuthing and asking a search engine things like "lgbt resources + your area" to see what comes up. Since the pandemic a lot of LGBT centers have at least some community activities/spaces still online, so even finding a resource in a nearby city might help you out. As for how to make friends, I really love this piece on how to find LGBT friends: https://www.vice.com/en/article/wxqjnm/ ... 6wLVrYT_u0

Sam W wrote: ↑Sat Jun 03, 2023 7:52 am You're very welcome!

With talking about therapy with your mom, a good starting place would be working out what, if anything, you need from her in terms of support, such as financial help, a ride, or even just privacy if you end up using telehealth to see them. Too, so you have a general sense of how she views therapy?

There are for sure things you can do to help you feel more masculine! If you check out this guide, you'll see various suggestions, including ones that are subtle enough that no one but you is likely to notice them: Trans Summer School: Gender Expression Gear. Too, I do want to say that you're an adult, which means you're the boss of your body and your clothing; obviously we all make choices about self-presentation based on various factors, including things like whether it goes against a work dress code or doing it will cause massive fights or other risks with the people we live with. But in the big picture, you're still the one who gets to decide how you want to express your gender.

Sam W wrote: ↑Tue Jun 06, 2023 6:33 am You're very welcome!

Is there anything else about this whole situation (or a different one, for that matter) that we can help you with right now?