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What is knotting?
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What is knotting?
I'm ashamed for it, but I sometimes read erotic fiction. I am an older teen and have had no sexual experiences at all, and most of my knowledge about sex comes from sites like this one and, admitedly, written erotica. I read the term "knotting" in one of these stories and did not know what it meant. I could not find anything about it on this site and I am scared to look it up on google.
So anyway: what is "knotting" in regards to sex/the penis?
So anyway: what is "knotting" in regards to sex/the penis?
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Re: What is knotting?
Hi there throwaway825901, I'm glad to hear that you are finding Scarleteen a valuable source of accurate information about sex and sexuality. Let me start by saying that reading erotica and engaging with sexual media in general is nothing to be ashamed of, however we understand that there are still unhelpful cultural messages about sex and shame that are still around that can be difficult to grapple with. If you'd like to read a bit more about this, we have a great article about it here: undoing sexual shame.
I would be remiss though if I didn't also include a gentle reminder that as you are 17, to be aware of the age limits in the user guidelines of the websites you are using to access sexual media, as this indicates the audience that the website are expecting are reading their content, if they are 18+, they will not be considering the appropriateness/safety/assumed knowledge around sex of younger viewers for this content.
These articles are really useful for informing your reading/viewing of this kind of media (they primarily refer to video content in the title but many of the principles apply to written sexual media as well):
Fanfiction has many tropes that are largely unique to it as a genre of writing (eg. AU fics, the term "slash" etc), and it has subtropes specific to erotic fanfic as well. Creating erotic/relationship scenarios that engage in fantasies around power play (submissiveness and dominance) structures, centred around wolf pack dynamics of "alpha", "beta" etc. (which actually are a myth and don't exist in the wild) are a more niche subgenre, but are used across fandoms so it is not surprising that you've come across some, and from my reading, some of these tropes have extended into this trope of "knotting", in a manner that is extending the sub/dom metaphor.
Earlier on I mentioned the article about reality checking sexual media, this trope is a good example of why it is important to consider the specific context in which a piece of sexual media exists, and that it is always fiction and fantasy. "Knotting" is a particularly useful example because it is so fictional that the sex act itself is not possible in real life, along with that, the kinds of dynamics it portrays between the characters in terms of sub-dom relationships, and emotional/physical safety and consent may not reflect what is safe, right or best practice in real life (and would be sexual assault in real life), because it is fantasy and the characters aren't real people who have emotional or physical lives outside of the story, does that make sense? This doesn't mean that they are "bad" to read, however it is important to remember that erotic content is fantasy created for entertainment, and often should not/cannot be reenacted in terms of script/or the sexual acts depicted.
I hope you found this answer useful! If you have any further questions, curiosities or observations that you feel comfortable sharing, please don't hesitate to add them in a reply below.
I would be remiss though if I didn't also include a gentle reminder that as you are 17, to be aware of the age limits in the user guidelines of the websites you are using to access sexual media, as this indicates the audience that the website are expecting are reading their content, if they are 18+, they will not be considering the appropriateness/safety/assumed knowledge around sex of younger viewers for this content.
These articles are really useful for informing your reading/viewing of this kind of media (they primarily refer to video content in the title but many of the principles apply to written sexual media as well):
- Making Sense of Sexual Media
- Bare Bodies: Reality Checking Mainstream Porn (Part 1)
- Sex on Screen: Reality-Checking Mainstream Porn (Part 2)
Fanfiction has many tropes that are largely unique to it as a genre of writing (eg. AU fics, the term "slash" etc), and it has subtropes specific to erotic fanfic as well. Creating erotic/relationship scenarios that engage in fantasies around power play (submissiveness and dominance) structures, centred around wolf pack dynamics of "alpha", "beta" etc. (which actually are a myth and don't exist in the wild) are a more niche subgenre, but are used across fandoms so it is not surprising that you've come across some, and from my reading, some of these tropes have extended into this trope of "knotting", in a manner that is extending the sub/dom metaphor.
Earlier on I mentioned the article about reality checking sexual media, this trope is a good example of why it is important to consider the specific context in which a piece of sexual media exists, and that it is always fiction and fantasy. "Knotting" is a particularly useful example because it is so fictional that the sex act itself is not possible in real life, along with that, the kinds of dynamics it portrays between the characters in terms of sub-dom relationships, and emotional/physical safety and consent may not reflect what is safe, right or best practice in real life (and would be sexual assault in real life), because it is fantasy and the characters aren't real people who have emotional or physical lives outside of the story, does that make sense? This doesn't mean that they are "bad" to read, however it is important to remember that erotic content is fantasy created for entertainment, and often should not/cannot be reenacted in terms of script/or the sexual acts depicted.
I hope you found this answer useful! If you have any further questions, curiosities or observations that you feel comfortable sharing, please don't hesitate to add them in a reply below.
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Re: What is knotting?
Alright, thank you, Elise!
I always try to think critically about fictionalized sex, but there are still some things that I don't know if they are real or imaginary. Thanks for the articles you have linked.
I'm actually suprised that I read a fanfiction that had a bit of wolf anatomy in it, because I dislike alot of that "alpha/beta" stuff.
Thanks again
I always try to think critically about fictionalized sex, but there are still some things that I don't know if they are real or imaginary. Thanks for the articles you have linked.
I'm actually suprised that I read a fanfiction that had a bit of wolf anatomy in it, because I dislike alot of that "alpha/beta" stuff.
Thanks again
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Re: What is knotting?
Hey throwaway825901 -- I'm glad Elise's response was helpful (I also learned a lot). Feel free to check in again if you have any more questions about what's "real" in fanfiction.
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Re: What is knotting?
I experience something similar to OP- I prefer to read erotic literature, and often do it to arouse myself. While not all of it is fanfiction, a lot of it tends to be, and I'm quite wary of unrealistic sex acts and such (especially because what I find arousing is very much NOT possible in real life, so that tends to be more common in what I read). I've decided to educate myself more on sexual acts so I don't create an unrealistic standard in my head, as I've never been (physically) sexually involved with someone else, so I don't have very many reference points.
I'm still really new to actually understanding genital anatomy, and anything sexual in general, because for a while I was only interested in my specific fetish that didn't necessarily involve genitals, as it tended to gross me out. Now, I'm definitely more interested in sexual acts involving genitals, but I am still very wary and nervous about it, because I'd like to have a sexual partner one day, and I don't want be clueless or lost when we decide to do something together (for safety and comfort). This site has helped me out a lot, even in such a short amount of time, and I feel much more confidant than I ever was before.
I would like to ask something in particular- I've read terms in passing like 'prostate milking', and I'm not very sure what that is exactly (I don't fully understand what a prostate *is* and what 'prostate milking' is). When I read something with it involved, I tend to get confused and I question whether it's a realistic act because 'prostate milking' sounds really... fake to me (or just extremely unrealistic). From what I've gathered, it seems to be the act of someone stimulating the prostate that results in the person involuntarily cumming/ejaculating, but I'm not totally sure. Can someone clear this up for me?
I'm still really new to actually understanding genital anatomy, and anything sexual in general, because for a while I was only interested in my specific fetish that didn't necessarily involve genitals, as it tended to gross me out. Now, I'm definitely more interested in sexual acts involving genitals, but I am still very wary and nervous about it, because I'd like to have a sexual partner one day, and I don't want be clueless or lost when we decide to do something together (for safety and comfort). This site has helped me out a lot, even in such a short amount of time, and I feel much more confidant than I ever was before.
I would like to ask something in particular- I've read terms in passing like 'prostate milking', and I'm not very sure what that is exactly (I don't fully understand what a prostate *is* and what 'prostate milking' is). When I read something with it involved, I tend to get confused and I question whether it's a realistic act because 'prostate milking' sounds really... fake to me (or just extremely unrealistic). From what I've gathered, it seems to be the act of someone stimulating the prostate that results in the person involuntarily cumming/ejaculating, but I'm not totally sure. Can someone clear this up for me?
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Re: What is knotting?
Hi queerlink!
I'm so glad to hear that you have found this site helpful to learn more and feel more confident because that is our biggest goal here!
You're on the right track about what "prostate milking" is but I'll go into a little bit more detail to hopefully clear up some of the confusion that you have. Firstly, what is the prostate? The prostate is a small gland that is at the base of the penis between the rectum and urethra (there is a diagram in this article: Innies, outies, the penis, testes, and more). It stores a fluid that is part of semen which helps to provide nutrients to sperm and also to lubricate the urethra, this liquid is called prostatic fluid. It also has muscles that help to push the semen through the urethra. So, it plays a pretty big part in the reproductive system.
This gland also happens to have many sensory endings so stimulating it can be very enjoyable for some people. "Prostate milking" is another name for giving someone a prostate massage or stimulating the gland. That can happen in multiple different ways such as direct stimulation from inside the anal canal or from the perineum (flat area between anus and testicles). Some people can orgasm solely through this type of stimulation whereas others enjoy adding it to other sexual acts. If you want to read more about the prostate this article goes into a little more detail: Meet Your Prostate
Does this help to clear up some of your confusion?
I'm so glad to hear that you have found this site helpful to learn more and feel more confident because that is our biggest goal here!
You're on the right track about what "prostate milking" is but I'll go into a little bit more detail to hopefully clear up some of the confusion that you have. Firstly, what is the prostate? The prostate is a small gland that is at the base of the penis between the rectum and urethra (there is a diagram in this article: Innies, outies, the penis, testes, and more). It stores a fluid that is part of semen which helps to provide nutrients to sperm and also to lubricate the urethra, this liquid is called prostatic fluid. It also has muscles that help to push the semen through the urethra. So, it plays a pretty big part in the reproductive system.
This gland also happens to have many sensory endings so stimulating it can be very enjoyable for some people. "Prostate milking" is another name for giving someone a prostate massage or stimulating the gland. That can happen in multiple different ways such as direct stimulation from inside the anal canal or from the perineum (flat area between anus and testicles). Some people can orgasm solely through this type of stimulation whereas others enjoy adding it to other sexual acts. If you want to read more about the prostate this article goes into a little more detail: Meet Your Prostate
Does this help to clear up some of your confusion?