Scarleteen

i recently lost my virginity about two weeks ago. i bled a lot during it and it hurt pretty bad.

i’ve had sex 3 times since then, and i’ve been bleeding / hurting every time. is this something i should get checked out? it’s not heavy bleeding like the first time, but it’s enough to warrant concern. i don’t want to go to the hospital/obgyn since i don’t want my mom to know about any of this. maybe i haven’t given my body enough time to heal after my first time? i’m not sure what to do

Hi satorousgf,

Ouch, that sounds really unpleasant! There are a few things that commonly lead to painful sex or bleeding after intercourse, so let's start out by seeing if any of those apply to you. Do you and your boyfriend use a lot of lube when you have sex? And are you very aroused and relaxed before you two try intercourse?

Too, when sex is painful in the moment it's happening, that's a sign from our bodies that we need to stop and not do that particular thing. Is there a reason you haven't stopped when it's been painful?

we don’t use lube or a condom and i’m somewhat aroused but not fully. when i lost my virginity i was super aroused due to us having foreplay before hand, but it still hurt and i bled. i’m not relaxed however since we tend to do it in a car.

there’s no reason, i’ve just been thinking that it’s supposed to be like this due to me only losing my virginity recently. i’ve been thinking that it’s normal but my fourth time having sex recently happened and this just seems excessive since i don’t enjoy it as much as i feel i should.

So, I think it's important to note that vaginal sex isn't "supposed" to hurt the first time. Whether or not sex is painful has to do with factors like lube and arousal, not how many times someone has had it.

In your case, it sounds like adding lube into the mix would likely help, but that the bigger cause is likely to be the fact you're feeling tense because you're having sex somewhere that doesn't allow for much privacy. Is there a reason--like not ability to get privacy at home--you two have opted to have sex in the car? I ask because not only does it sound like that's making for a pretty crummy experience for at least one of you, but having sex in a car can get you in trouble if someone catches you.

Too, since you're not using condoms, are you using another form of birth control? And are the two of you up to date on your STI tests?