Scarleteen

Hello!! I just wanted some advice on how to feel more confident in my appearance. Growing up, I never cared much about my appearance until the age of 13. Now that I’m almost 16, it’s gotten a lot worse. I know everybody is different and somebody out there thinks I’m exceptionally beautiful but every time I see myself in pictures or the mirror at a store, I just get reminded of my face.

My face is asymmetrical, I have a lazy eye that’s so noticeable (even though I got surgery for it), and my side profile is so... It just feels hard to feel pretty, especially when the girls at my school and my friends are such gorgeous people, both inside and out. It’s like i’m hyper aware of what I look like 24/7 and it’s making me feel like crap. I know I shouldn’t be worrying about this, but this has just been on my mind lately.

Hi there catcatcat,

I'm sorry to hear it sounds like you're having a hard time with self-esteem. You're right, people out there do think you're exceptionally beautiful! But the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. I've definitely also experienced walking past a mirror and not feeling so hot, or comparing my appearance to people around me. The thing to keep in mind is that beauty is so subjective. What one person finds attractive may be unimportant to someone else, and vice versa.

That said, I can totally understand still feeling a little down. Some things that have helped me find joy in moments of lower self-esteem are dancing and singing to my favorite playlist, or making art. It may sound odd, but I sometimes like to draw myself and all the flaws that I perceive. Then I like to draw hearts, stars, flowers, whatever you'd like, around the parts that I don't feel too happy about. This helps me appreciate my whole self, even the things I consider flaws. Do you think this is an exercise that could be helpful?