Could I be pregnant?

[hi0191992]

Hi. I want to know if there’s any way I could be pregnant.
Jan 27, 2023, I lost my virginity. before we had ‘real’ sex, we were in a jacuzzi tub together. while we were in it, he pressed the tip of his penis against my vaginal opening as if he was trying to penetrate (he never did). i am pretty sure we were under the water at this point, but we could’ve been slightly out of the water (its hard to remember). he didnt cum, so there was no cum on him, but i was concerned that perhaps there was precum with semen in it, that somehow got inside me and impregnated me. after the jacuzzi, he attempted to penetrate me again (with a condom this time) for about a minute until i asked him to stop. he did not cum inside me or in the condom, i dont know if there was precum or not. he finished via oral sex and then he left. i took a plan b (i ran and bought one, i was so scared), around an hour after the whole event. im not sure my exact ovulation dates, but im assuming the sex was either around or after my ovulation. i had my period around 2 weeks prior. around 2-3 days after taking the plan b, i began to bleed for a few days. my next period was delayed, but otherwise normal. every period since then has been normal. my period typically lasts 4-5 days, sometimes my cramps are bad, sometimes theyre not. (i was diagnosed with endometriosis but it has improved significantly). but, as ive said, my period has been normal. ive had no pregnancy symptoms. a month ago, summer break started, and a week ago, my mother started a new job schedule. both have left me lonely (she works nightshift so im alone at night, and while she sleeps during the day. i see her for about 4 ish hours a day) and im prone to getting extremely lonely and anxious when left alone. this, combined with my already existing anxiety disorder, had really caused me to jump to crazy conclusions. i took 2 pregnancy tests almost a week ago. both were completely negative. i even researched the ‘Hook Effect’ of pregnancy tests (where your HCG levels are so high, that the tests renders your results negative when in reality, youre very pregnant.) the tests i took have a ‘Hook’ effect around 1,000,000 hcg, which is insanely high. my only ‘symptoms’ (if you can even call them that) are possible constipation, and every now and then i feel a ‘kick’. my constipation, i believe, is caused by my lack of eating. i havent been eating right due to this anxiety, and often get gassy when stressed. im assuming the ‘kick’ (god i hate referring to it as that) is just gas. it feels like a tiny, second-long little thump. its barely noticeable, ive never noticed it before, and, if i have, it never bothered me, but now everytime i feel it, it sends a shiver down my spine and i feel sick and anxious. it can last for hours. ive never been pregnant before, but i also dont know if ive ever felt this before. ive been very hyper-aware of my body, and every time i feel any sensation (even just an aching joint) im convinced its pregnancy and it causes me to get so anxious i feel nauseous. its to the point that my abdomen and breasts are sore from me poking and prodding them, trying to feel for a baby or signs of a baby. if havent gained any weight, and if i have, its not noticable, i still have my normal period, no confirmed symptoms, negative pregnancy tests, we used a condom (for the penetration part), and i took a plan b. i think most of this is caused by the loneliness, but also by my genuine fear of pregnancy and shame. my family (im 16), would either disown me or make me feel like im worthless for getting pregnant. i didnt want to have sex in january in the first place, i did it so he would keep talking to me (he ended up blocking me 2 days after we had sex), and i dont think that helped. i have friends but i dont want to burden them. i want to tell my mom my fears so she can hold me and tell me its alright, but i know she wouldnt react that way. i dont think i could continue living if i were to become pregnant. for the first time in a long time i am happy to be alive and i dont want to mess it up. its gotten to the point where i am watchcing tiktoks about cryptic pregnancy and researching HCG mutations that could cause them to not show up on a pregnancy test. deep down, i think im not pregnant. but that tiny sliver of a ‘maybe you are, maybe its cryptic, maybe youre the rare case’ would mean my life as i know it is over. im already in college at 16 and i have so, so many plans for what i want to do and who i want to be, im terrified that itll all be ripped away and my family will hate me. i know this is the real reason im afraid, ‘self sabotage’ or whatever, but its still so hard to convince myself im not pregnant. i know this was more of a vent than a question, but i needed to type it all out.

again, for the third time, because im trying to convince myself im not pregnant:

ive had my period each month, its normal
ive taken 2 pregnancy tests (correctly) and both yielded a negative result
i have no symptoms aside from constipation and gas, and possibly a ‘kick’
no noticeable weight gain

thank you so much for taking the time and reading that, im so ready for this anxious nightmare to be over. i know i need to work on my anxiety, but its so difficult. im going to take 2 more pregnancy tests and try and drop it.

[Latha]

Hi there, welcome to the boards! All of this does seem like such an exhausting nightmare- I'm glad you felt you could talk about it here.

I think you have a strong understanding of why you can't be pregnant, but if it will help, let me reassure you with complete confidence: there is no way you could be pregnant- it is absolutely impossible at this point. I can even rule out a cryptic pregnancy and the hook effect- people experiencing those don't get regular periods.

You're not pregnant.

I hope that can offer you some relief, but I know not easy to just stop yourself from worrying. Anxiety is no simple beast, and your circumstances only seem to make this more difficult to deal with.

I know you said this is more of a vent than a question, but we can help you brainstorm ways to deal with all of this. Would you like that?

(P.S. Just FYI, some spotting after taking plan B is normal, and so is your next period getting delayed a bit.)