advice!

[Babybee19]

I’m dating a trans man and we’ve known each other and liked each other for quite some time now. Lately I started worrying about the more intimate parts of dating and sex and I realized I barely have any experience. I’m pansexual. I’ve dated a boy when I was younger and a few years ago a dated this girl. She was my first intimate partner. And now I’m dating a guy, a trans guy, but he’s a guy.

I don’t experiment on myself much because it isn’t as pleasurable for me but I like giving more than receiving. And if I’m receiving it’s from myself.

I don’t know how to interact with him in that way because I don’t want to give him dysphoria as well as I’m just inexperienced. I tried looking things up but everything was just scary and mlm or glg or cis men and women.

How do I even start researching how to be intimate with him? How can I make sure I’m giving and providing for him properly that’s enjoyable for him?

[Nicole]

Hi Babybee19,

I highly recommend asking him directly about these concerns. There isn't one way to be "properly" intimate with someone, trans or cis, so I don't think it's something you can necessarily figure out through research. With that being said, I think the best thing to do is to reach out to him about his boundaries and interests! We have a resource that I think could really help you out in navigating this conversation, I'll link it here: Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist. Take a look and let me know if it's something you're interested in trying out with your boyfriend!