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How to bring up new things to partner?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
suomi
not a newbie
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2023 4:44 pm
Age: 17
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United States

How to bring up new things to partner?

Unread post by suomi »

I feel like I'd be pressuring them into anything if I try-Since I have more experience than them-And we've been doing stuff they like up until now so I feel like they'd be forcing themself if they agreed.
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: How to bring up new things to partner?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi suomi,

What if you framed it as a conversation where you both have the chance to mention if there are new things you want to try? Too, is there a reason you're worried that if they agree they're actually just forcing themselves to do it rather than being interested in it or excited to try it?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
suomi
not a newbie
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2023 4:44 pm
Age: 17
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United States

Re: How to bring up new things to partner?

Unread post by suomi »

Yes, I'm scared the response might not be genuine.
Logan W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 69
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2022 8:34 pm
Age: 36
Awesomeness Quotient: I play roller derby and love to skate outside!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: Lesbian, queer, demiromantic
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: How to bring up new things to partner?

Unread post by Logan W »

Hi suomi,

I think it might be helpful to express this fear - let them know that you don't want to pressure them into anything they don't want to do. Have you brought up anything that you'd like to do in the past? If so, what was the response like?
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