Scarleteen

Hello, my name is Vanya and I'm a young transsexual man that lives in Ukraine. Firstly, I apologise if my English is poor. I am mostly writing with knowledge from school

My parents have supported me the best they can since I came out, going as far as finding a new school so I could start fresh. I have since even had the chance to go to Kyiv and be diagnosed with Dysphoria. I am much thankful for all of this.

But I'm at a loss now at what to do. I am passing onto the 10th grade this year, and I am honestly afraid.

I have come across as a cisgender boy these few years at school only because my school allowed my written name to not be my "legal" name, and my classmates and friends were still "boys". Now, they are all becoming men, and that is obvious now. But I am not like them.

I do not have a low voice (this is much noticable in Ukrainian), I am not as tall, I cannot grow facial hair, I am not as strong..

They have noticed, they have made comments about it occasionally. It has gotten where I will refuse when they ask to go out, because I fear something will suddenly give me away. This coming school year, if I remain the same, they will likely catch on. And I am terrified

With my age, and rising hate for transsexual people in this country, being openly transsexual is suicide. We are nearly exclusively viewed as mentally unstabled, delusional, ill... To be honest, I am quite ashamed of being this way. If I come clean I will destroy all the relationships I have, likely be bullied, and there is considerable possibility I will be hurt or killed.

Receiving Testosterone is not an option for me, likely ever. Hormone Replacement Therapy is seldom an option for transsexual people in this country, even adults. It does not help that I live in a fairly small city in a very remote part of my country.

I have done everything I may think of to hide it, but it feels like there is more to this. Something so insignificant to other people's living cannot be the very end of my social life.

I have considered detransitioning, but I do not have the heart to. I have spent too much time as a girl, time I have spent only suffering. So I do not want to be a man, I need to be a man. For my own psychological health.

Ukraine is still a developing country. We are still recovering from the Soviet Union, and the war has only served to worsen everything.

As such, there are no resources for transsexual people in our country, so now I am here. I ask, is there anything I can do to hide it from my peers, at least until I am an adult? I am becoming desperate as the summer is passing. Thank you!!!

Hi Vanya,

Your English is great! My family is from Ukraine so if you want to type in Ukrainian or even Russian, I can understand both and would be happy to correspond in those languages.

First, I'm more than happy to hear that your family is supportive of you. Although, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation at school. It seems incredibly difficult to feel different from the other boys and to hide that you are transgender in an unaccepting environment.

I understand the current status of LGBTQ+ individuals in Ukraine and how they're perceived by the public. I researched this in school and spoke to my family about how LGBTQ+ people are treated. My uncle, who is gay, had to leave when he was 18 due to homophobia. He left ten years after the Soviet Union fell. I know that the LGBTQ+ community is really struggling due to the current invasion by Russia. I wish that LGBTQ+ youth in Ukraine was focused on more because I see how scary this is for you.

With this, how do you think your friends would react if they found out you were transgender? Have they spoken about transgender people around you before? How did that go? Would you be willing to have a conversation about your gender identity with them at all? I ask all of these questions because they are your friends and you should not have to live in fear of losing them due to being transgender! That's simply not fair to you.

There are a number of things young trans men can do in order to pass in society, such as purchasing a chest binder, a packer, getting a masculine haircut, wearing masculine clothes, and so on. Are you interested in learning more about any of these?

I want to ask a few questions before moving forward here. I know you mentioned that it's difficult to find LGBTQ+ resources in Ukraine. Have you looked into LGBTQ+ or trans support groups in Ukraine or surrounding countries (I know that Zakarpattya borders a few countries, like Poland, etc.)? These support groups don't necessarily have to be in real life, they can be online or on social media. Another great platform to use to reach out to other trans Ukrainians is Reddit. Also, my dad is doing some humanitarian work with Ukrainians and I reached out to him to see if he can find some resources for you.

Please let me know if any of this helps!

доброго вечора!

ниґда не очікував, що тут є український адмін, айбо так вже є що ми повсюди у світі.

мені дуже шкода щодо вашого вуйка, сподіваюсь вже в нього добре. ))

незнаю, як вони відреагують, ай боюся дізнатися. бо вони підлітки, звісно жартували типу "хто (щось зробить) є ґейем", вадь "хто (щось зробить) є трансґендером".. тощо, ай звісно це не в гарному сенсі. тобто як мінімум, вони не сприймуть це файно.((

не впевнений, що за речі, про які ви говорили, ай припускаю, що "chest binder" це щоб жгутити ґрудь? зараз до цього використовую пов'язку з тканини. в мене взагалі то є чоловічий одяг (навіть нові чоловічи бурки є якщо повірете) ай зачіска, але було б приємно дізнатися більше щодо "chest binder" та "packer".

я шукав ресурси щодо лгбт+ в україні ай на жаль не дало мені багато. знайшов декілька сайтів айбо вони були вадь тільки для активістів, вадь тільки для ґеїв, але мабуть я просто не то шукав. подивлюсь йще на реддіт ай ресурси з сусідньіх країн, дякую за всі рекомендації )) дуже вдячен вам взагалі!

Hi Duckworth!

Nicole should be on shift tomorrow (Monday the 17th)- she should respond to you then!

Привіт Ваня,

Вибачте, якщовам важко мене зрозуміти. Я тільки починаю вивчати Українську мову.

Що ви відчуваєте, коли ваші друзі так говорять про трансгендерів і геїв? Чи почуваєтеся ви себе в безпеці? Ви щасливі з цими друзями?

Так, ви маєте рацію щодо chest binders. Тканинна пов’язка може спричинити дискомфорт через натягування та призвести до незворотного пошкодження вашого тіла. Chest binders схожі на спортивні бюстгальтери та вони створені для того, щоб забезпечено стягнути груди. У нас є стаття, яка містить більше інформації, але вона англійською мовою. Я поділюся цим з вами тут: Trans Summer School: Gender Expression Gear. У цій статті також йдеться про packers. Я можу допомогти вам з перекладом, якщо вам це потрібно! Також один із моїх колег поділився ідеєю шукати на YouTube відео, які вчать, як зробити свій голос глибшим.

Будь ласка, дайте мені знати, якщо це допоможе. Я вважаю Reddit і сусідні країни найкращими ідеями.