Scarleteen

I know no one likes being yelled at, but for as long as I can remember just someone even taking a harsh tone with me or accusing tone can make me really upset and cry. I realized this all comes (I think) from letting people down and disappointing people. I just hate feeling like an inconvenience to people, especially adults. I never ask for things because I don’t want people to get annoyed. When teachers or other adult figures lightly, and I mean lightly scold or chide me, it makes me feel like they hate me and makes me so embarrassed. I’m always apologizing to anyone and everyone even if it’s not technically my place to apologize but their’s, because I don’t want people to be annoyed with me. I feel guilty asking for things because I fear the person might be thinking I’m asking to much, or that they’re annoyed to have to go out of their way to do me a favor. I don’t know if how I think is normal or if I’m just a pushover or what. I just never wanna ever feel like an inconvenience or a burden to people.

Hello Pinkheartsss0!

Honestly, I fully understand struggling when it feels like someone is angry with you. Don't be upset with yourself for feeling bad or crying. That said, I think this mindset is hurting you. Relying on other people, making mistakes, and needing help are normal parts of being human- none of those make you a burden.

People won't get annoyed with you for asking for what you need. If they can't help you, they can just say no. That doesn't mean you've hurt them by asking or that they are angry with you, I promise. You are not obligated to try to predict everyone's needs and wants and energy levels and resources before you ask for something. That isn't possible to achieve anyway.

Someone like a teacher asking you to change something isn't a comment about your entire worth, it is only their opinion about the topic at hand. You aren't burdening them if you make a mistake- as teachers, it is quite literally their job to guide you and help you learn.

In fact, if someone does get annoyed or angry with you just because you asked for something or made a mistake, you have my full permission to ignore them, because those aren't justified reactions.

Don't try to make yourself invisible- you aren't inconveniencing or disappointing people just by existing as a human being.

I think it can be helpful to remember that your feelings don't necessarily point to the truth. You might feel like somebody hates you, but that doesn't mean they do. Try to remind yourself of that when you catch yourself feeling this way. Also, remember that you have intrinsic worth beyond the work you do and how useful you are to other people.

Does all this make sense to you? If you don't mind me asking (you don't have to answer), when did you start feeling this way? Have you always had these worries?