23 and can’t ejaculate by “normal” means

[twoofies]

Pretty new here so sorry if this is in the wrong spot.

So this is kind of a weird situation that I’m in.

I’m currently 23 years old and I still have my foreskin. When I was young I would always hump my pillow to masturbate, never have I once in my time of living deviated from that course. Went through a couple relationships but never really felt comfortable having sex since I’d never been able to ejaculate “normally.” I’d always have to dry hump/make sure there was pressure being applied to the base of my shaft in order to receive any pleasure.

Later on in life I did manage to bring myself to have sex with my now ex, and I just wasn’t able to finish. Oral didn’t help at all either. I was using protection at the time and have never had raw sex before. So I have no idea if that plays a factor in the situation or not.

Is there any way to over-come this? Whenever I do it normally I just can’t get to the point of ejaculation. Seeking advice and your thoughts before I take it to a professional, thanks!

[Sam W]

Hi twoofies,

So, I think a helpful thing to remember is that there isn't really a "normal" when it comes to things like what brings someone pleasure or helps them reach ejaculation or orgasm. There are certainly ways that are more or less common, but bodies can have really specific things that they enjoy, including ones that don't quite fit into the "normal" script of sex.

With that in mind, is there any reason you couldn't explore ways with future partners for you to work the activities that help you ejaculate into the sex you have with them?