Scarleteen

I'm 14 (afab) and have been discovering the sensation of self pleasure for a while now, and I've never been able to properly finger myself. I don't know if I'm not pushing my finger in with enough force or something but I've never been successful. I've watched informational videos and read loads of pages to try and figure out the solution but nothing has ever clicked. Maybe I'm just too tight down there...because I've tried things like stimulating my clit first to maybe loosen things up but that wasn't successful!

I know penetration isn't the only way to pleasure, but I really want to try it. So does anyone have any tips for how to finger yourself for the first time? Specifically how to even push a finger in??

Hi there, froggy style- welcome to the boards!

So many people come here with this question- in fact, I just answered another right now. I wish there was a simple, straightforward set of instructions I could give you to help you. While I can't do that, don't worry- patience and some trial and error usually do the trick.

Don't try to push your finger in with more force- that could hurt. The vaginal canal should relax itself if you are feeling aroused and unstressed. So the question is, do you feel aroused and relaxed when you try to finger yourself? Stimulating the clit is a good starting point for feeling aroused, and helping with natural lubrication. You could also try using lube.

One thing- don't make fingering into a goal that you can fail at- that would be counter to the goal of staying relaxed and in the moment. Instead, try to approach masturbation as an exploration of what feels good. Don't push yourself to do anything that feels bad or painful. You can always try again another time.