Why do I feel nothing during intercourse?

[agoodperson]

My girlfriend and I tried to do the deed recently and she liked it, but I didn't. I didn't feel anything whatsoever. It's not medical or something, because hands stuff still feels good. And I am very attracted to her. It's just so weird and confusing to me.

I have a theory that she was just pushing my willy down instead of stroking it (she was on top), but I don't know.

How do I make it feel good? I want to enjoy it with her

[Heather]

Hi there.

So, you're right, it probably isn't anything medical.

Not everyone likes every kind of sex, or finds every kind of sex to be exciting and satisfying. Some people -- whatever kind of genitals they have -- are into intercourse, others, not so much. Like other kinds of sex, what a given activity feels like also can feel or be different from partner to partner, day to day, life phase to life phase, and depending on the *way* we are doing something.

If you're still interested in intercourse, though, I'd certainly figure that like a lot of things in life or sex, it may be that you just need to experiment more to find what way or ways of having intercourse might feel good to you. The things to experiment with can be things like what other sexual activities you are doing before, during/with or after intercourse, what or how much lubricant you're using, what kind of condom you're using, and what positions your bodies are in, including things like our angles or where we are bearing our weight in a given position.

Communicating with our partner during any kind of sex is also always important, especially when we're trying to find what feels good to us both. Letting a partner know when something isn't feeling good is helpful because then they/we can try some adjustments to try and find what makes everyone involved feel good.

How does that sound as a place to start?