trauma response?

[naurmi008]

can being sexually abused in the past cause me to be hypersexual or want to have sex more and more? i've read stories of victims of sexual abuse being disgusted by the concept of sex, but i'm the opposite of that. i want to stop but i can't. is there something wrong with me?

[Sam W]

Hi naurmi008,

Everybody has a slightly (or hugely) different relationship with sex, and that relationship can be influenced by any number of things, including sexual abuse or other trauma. Some survivors do find that sexual abuse or assault causes them to be afraid of, disgusted by, or push away any kind of sexual contact or desire. Others might choose to seek out sex for any number of reasons. Too, how a survivor feels about sex will likely vary depending on things like where they are in their healing process or whether they have a partner who they trust.

Too, there's also a myth that surviving sexual abuse makes someone more likely to "compulsively" have sex, which tends to make people who feel the way you do think that there's something wrong with how they experience their sexuality. But as Heather explains here (https://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather ... ivor_stere) and I explain here (https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... _addiction), talking about sex in those ways is not only inaccurate, it only serves to further disempower survivors by acting as if the way they're engaging with their sexuality is wrong.

[Heather]

Hey there, naurmi: I did want to add one thing in here that I think might be coming into play for you based on this post and what I am seeing in some decisions across a few posts right now.

One thing that being sexually abused is very strongly associated with are survivors then feeling like their sexual value is their only or primary value, and that to be valued by people, they need to be in sexual relationship with them, or have some kind of sex always on offer. That is something many, many survivors struggle with.

Since you have often described sex as something that "just happens" and that doesn't entirely feel like a choice for you, but like you getting "carried away," and because you have been in a sexual relationship where you are having lots of pregnancy fear and anxiety (but I'm hearing very little reporting of you actually enjoying yourself), AND because you came in asking this kind of question, I think it might be fruitful for you to think some about what I just said up there. I offered in another of your threads to talk some about why you think you're in a sexual relationship right now despite it seeming to mostly just cause you stress and anxiety, but I'm happy to talk about it in any of your threads.